Page 190 of Chasing Hope

You could hear a pin drop.

I can feel him on me. Can feel his hands on my body, the burning between my thighs, the tears that rolled down my cheeks, my aching throat as I screamed, the hand he smacked over my mouth to silence me.

I feel everything he put me through.

I feel the despair.

The terror.

The pain.

The shame.

The confusion.

The way I wished upon every star to die.

I feel fucking all of it.

“How fuckingdareyou come here!” I bellow. My entire body is shaking while everyone else blinks at me like I’ve lost my mind.

Everyone excepthim. The one person who knows as much detail as me.

“Evie,” my mother reprimands.

My gaze snaps to her. Getting right in her face, it takeseverything in me not to hit her. “How fucking dare you bring him here. How fuckingdareyou!”

“Evie, stop screaming! What the hell—” Caleb tries to calm me down but I tune him out as I stare at our mother.

Stare at the panic in her eyes as she takes in how feral I am at seeing him, at the anger that isn’t calming but reaching a boiling point that no one could ever contain.

She quickly recovers, steeling her spine. She lowers her voice to a whisper. “You’re making a scene.”

“Good, because clearly no one fucking listened to me when I said I never wanted to lay eyes on him again.”

“Evie.”

His voice sounds like a fucking snake.

I train my eyes on my traitorous mother, putting all my energy into focusing on her face because if I look at him and how he’s now standing up again, I’ll lose it. I’m trying so fucking hard right now to remain in control, to not let him see how much he’s fucked with my head to?—

His hand reaches out once more. “Don’t be like this. Where’s my good girl gone?”

My eyes are as wide as saucers as I slowly turn toward him, taking a step back and out of his touch asthosewords meet my ears. I must look crazed, as if I’ve lost my sanity, because the look darkening my features makes him pale.

“What did you just say to me?” I ask, deadly quiet.

“Evie,” my mother pleads but I ignore her.

Matteo steps forward, trying to usher me back, but I swat his hands away and step closer tohim.

“What did you just say?” I repeat, spitting the question again through gritted teeth.

He swallows, his complexion paling as his eyes dart around before landing back on me.

I hate that I look in the mirror and am reminded of him from my own reflection.

I hate that I look like the man who hurt me most in this world.