Page 19 of Chasing Hope

But this is different.

She’ll be living here, will be lying in a bed across thehall. Her scent will fill my shower, her voice will greet me every day, her mere presence will tease me endlessly and give me a glimpse of a future I have never allowed myself to fantasize about because it canneverhappen.

How can I help Evie find herself without losing myself in the process?

Because now that she’s here, now that I can tell she needs help, now that she is within my grasp, how will I be able to hide from her that I have and will always be madly in love with her?

Even knowing the risk of getting my heart broken, knowing that I could be helping her heal from one man only to see her meet another, I can’t walk away. I’ve never been able to say no to Evie.

Not to the girl with the kind blue eyes and the soul that feels like it’s the missing half of mine.

Chapter 6

Evie—Age Six

He’s going to come for me. I know he is.

The monster always comes for me.

Nothing stops the monster.

I tried talking to Lucy about it. I was so scared to tell her about the monster but she told me that it’s okay to be scared at nighttime. She gets scared, too.

I was shocked. The monster visits her as well? I thought I was the only one.

He told me I was special.

He told me he loved me.

Lucy must be really special, too.

She said that when she gets scared, she cuddles her teddy and closes her eyes. She says the monster can’t get her when she’s touching the teddy.

I try it now.

Hugging my brown bear to my chest, I squeeze my eyes shut and mutter the words, “He can’t get me, not when I’m touching my teddy.”

With my back to the wall, never to the door, I chant it over and over, whispering so the monster doesn’t come and get me in trouble. “The monster can’t touch me.”

I’m touching my teddy. My teddy will protect me.

My heart sours, goingpitter-patter,pitter-patter,pitter-patter.

I haven’t been able to fall asleep lately. I’m always too scared about the monster, but as I cuddle my teddy and whisper the words, my eyes grow heavy. So heavy I struggle to keep them open.

I don’t have to worry, though. I don’t have to stay awake and watch the door because my teddy is going to keep me safe now.

The monster can’t scare me. I’ve got my teddy.

MATTEO - AGE EIGHT

Tiptoeing down the hall, I hold my hand over my mouth, scared my breathing will wake up Mr. and Mrs. Ellington like it does my parents. If I ever wake up my mom and dad, they scream at me so loud I always end up wetting myself from fright.

They say they’re very important, that their jobs save people’s lives and they have to sleep to make sure they don’t have any accidents.

I know that. I never wake them on purpose. I just get really, really thirsty at nighttime.

I’m almost at the stairs now, so close to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water, but I stop outside Evie’s door. I hear sniffles from inside.