Page 185 of Chasing Hope

THEN - AGE EIGHT

Abubble of laughter floats up my throat and I quickly cup my hand around my mouth to try and silence the sound. My best friend Sarah makes the universalshhmotion, her finger over her lip, but even her eyes are dancing with humor, her lips wobbling as she tries not to laugh.

Maddie fell asleep the second the movie started playing even though she said she wasn’t tired. Sarah said we should draw flowers on her cheeks but I thought that was a little mean.

I don’t like making anyone feel bad so I came up with a different idea.

Maddie is going to wake up in a pillow fort. That is, if we don’t wake her up with our giggles.

We’re so close. We’ve managed to put chairs and pillows around her inflatable mattress, and now we’re just trying to lay down the sheet over the chairs to make the roof. Sarah quickly laysthe sheet over her corner chair, leaving just one more to cover—mine.

I’m tiptoeing, holding my breath as I make it to the chair and slowly slide it over, using one of our shoes to hold it down.

Stepping back, my and Sarah’s eyes lock across the fort, waiting to see if it will hold. When it does, I jump in the air and pump my fist while Sarah hops up and down, doing a shimmy dance. Flopping onto our mattresses beside Maddie, we high five, smiling.

This is my first birthday that I’ve been happy.

Sarah and Maddie don’t even realize how big of a deal this is to me, don’t realize that by having a sleepover with me on my birthday, they’re keeping the monster away, even if it is just for one night.

I can’t stop smiling. My cheeks hurt, aching from how wide my lips stretch. Turning my head, I’m about to suggest that we should watch another Barbie movie but I find Sarah somehow already sleeping, her mouth open, snoring softly.

Guess I get to pick the movie now.

Halfway throughWild ChildI keep licking my dry lips to wet my mouth. I need water so bad. I go in search of water around the room, only to come up with three empty bottles.

It’s past midnight. No one will be awake. I’ll just quickly grab water and then run back.

Moving toward the den door, I slowly lower the handle, trying my hardest to be as quiet as possible before tiptoeing out of the room and silently up the stairs. Once I peek my head over the top of the landing to find the kitchen and living room empty, I breathe a sigh of relief.

I’m halfway through the kitchen, my hands reaching to grab the fridge door when the lights flicker on. I freeze, my hand pausing midair, my breath getting caught in my lungs.

“Evie.”

That voice sends a type of coldness through my entire body that shouldn’t happen when you’re alive. It’s the type of cold that makes me think I’m dying.

“What are you doing?”

His words are slurred, that telltale smell of whiskey drifting toward me even from across the kitchen.

No, no, no.

I was so close, so close to having a birthday without him in it.

What is he even doing here this late?

“Evie!” he barks, making me jump out of my skin. “Don’t ignore me, young woman.”

Bile rushes for my throat.I’m not a woman, I want to scream,I’m a little girl.

“Evie, answer me!”

I can’t speak.

My mouth won’t move. The only thing that does is my body, shaking so much it’s like I’m vibrating.

His hand smacks down on my shoulder, making me cry out, but that’s the wrong thing to do. Spinning me, he towers above me, his beady eyes narrowing to little slits as he threatens, “I warned you what would happen if you stopped loving me. You should be a good girl, especially tonight, Evie. Our time is running out.”

What does he even mean we’re running out of time?