Page 152 of Chasing Hope
I’ve been moving back and forth in the same direction for over an hour, the same amount of time Evie isspending walking from the therapist’s office to here. And I can’t believe I’m even thinking it, but thank fuck Caleb isn’t staying here right now because I can’t put on a mask for this.
For once in my life, I can’t lock away my emotions behind the wall I built around my heart. Right now, the pain of knowing what Evie went through is far too great. The wave of an ocean has slammed into the wall, every single brick I laid over the years gone with one confession.
My entire body thrums with anxious energy. I tried to finish the code for Kieran this afternoon, but I made more errors and spent more time cleaning up my mess than anything else.
I all but jump out of my skin when my phone rings. I’m so keyed up I don’t even check caller ID before swiping my thumb across the screen.
“Dove?” I answer.
There’s a beat of silence before the voice I began to dread when I was as young as four comes over the line. “Matteo, is that how you answer your calls? It’s incredibly unprofessional.”
My eyes slam shut, my nostrils flaring as I try to withhold a deep sigh of disappointment.
It takes everything in me not to hang up on my father. “I don’t receive work calls. Any and all business is discussed through my agent.”
A scoff has my lips twisting into a sneer. “Yes, well, that’s obvious by the way you answer your phone.”
It’s in these very rare phone calls that I wish I had the balls to block both of their numbers, but apparently I’m a masochist. Despite letting go of the relationship I always dreamed of having with my parents, I’ve never been able to completely cut them off. A small part of me seems to still hold out hope, even though their repeated actions continue to speak for them.
Even though the damage they’ve caused can never be repaired.
Maybe one day I’ll be strong enough to do it.
“What do you want?” I ask, getting to the point as I check my watch.
Evie should be back by now. Why isn’t she back? Should I go looking for her?
“Why do you always assume I want something?”
I wait, not saying a word because I know he’ll crack. Sure enough, thirty seconds later, he clicks his tongue.
“Fine, your mother is hosting a large get-together and she would appreciate your attendance.”
And I would have appreciated her presence growing up but you don’t always get what you wish for.
The sound of the key sliding in the front door has me snapping, “I’m good, thanks.”
Ending the call to the sound of my father’s indignation, I throw my phone on the couch and hurry to the door but stop in my tracks the moment I set my gaze upon my girl.
Evie’s eyes are puffy, her shoulders hunched, perplexion ashen, and the spark I’ve worked so hard to help her reignite is nowhere to be seen. Her purse drops from her shoulder onto the floor as her eyes slowly lift to mine.
I was prepared for this, did my research on what a patient goes through during EMDR therapy and the toll it takes on you to process the emotions that were trapped in your body.
It’s exhausting, beyond draining. It looks like it sucked the life out of her.
She stands in front of the door, blinking at me slowly.
“Can I give you a hug?” I ask gently.
She slowly shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.”
Nodding, I take another step back. I also expected this.It’s okay, I try to reassure myself, even though my heart pinches in pain because all I want to do is wrap her in my arms and soothe her.
“Would you like me to run you a bath?” I offer instead.
She flickers to life a little as she nods. “That would be amazing.”
“I only need a minute,” I say, already turning on my heel and rushing for the stairs. I may have jumped the gun on the bath,assuming she’d say yes, knowing that she would need comfort to bring her back to herself.
