Page 137 of Chasing Hope

My body tenses, tears rolling down my cheeks. I stay as still as I can but there’s no point. The monster still hurts me even if I pretend to be sleeping.

The monster doesn’t care about hurting me.

I quickly snap my eyes closed as the monster’s face appears above mine. His breath smells so strongly of alcohol that vomit rises in my throat.

“Were you a bad girl?”

His voice makes chills overcome my body, and before I can stop myself, hot liquid flow between my legs.

Mommy’s going to be mad at me that I wet the bed again.

Shaking my head, I hold my breath.

“Good girl,” the monster growls.

I try to tell the monster that I’m burning, that the doctor said I need to be gentle down there, but the monster is never gentle.

The monster takes and takes from me until there’s nothing left.

“Just float, Evie. Float away,” I whisper to myself as the monster hurts me.

And suddenly, I’m not under the monster. I’m standing beside my bed, with tears pouring down my cheeks as I scream andscream as I watch myself be hurt by the monster. I look so small and the monster is so big, I’ll never be able to get him off me.

It never matters how much I scream, he never stops. He just puts his hand over my mouth to silence me and moves.

He never stops and he never will.

Chapter 41

Evie

*Do Not Disturb Activated*

What have I done?

I’m bombarded by equal parts relief and terror.

I’ve just shattered his childhood. And the worst part is, I don’t feel guilty. Someone who grew up in the same household as me finally knows that it wasn’t as magical as it appeared to everybody.

Suddenly, I don’t feel alone anymore. When I told Felicity and Carter, it didn’t alleviate the isolation I felt. If anything, it only intensified it. Felicity’s behavior toward me worsened, making it obvious that she deep down didn’t like me as a friend.

My safe person, the friend I texted and called every day, had turned on me, and the tension was palpable.

The difference between us became glaringly obvious. If she had a different opinion than mine, I’d respect hers, accept it, and move on. My opinions, however, were met with a bulldozer.

She would cut me down with words, silence and judge me over what felt like every move I made, but if she ever stepped out of line and you tried to reel her back in, you were the villain.

Suddenly, our mutual friends stopped texting me back.

Suddenly, my invites were redacted.

Suddenly, I was being used and discarded.

And all because I tried to voice a different opinion.

She could never be told she was wrong. Never be held accountable. Every word was like stepping on a landmine, acting as if you were throwing daggers but in reality she was the one holding the blade.

I believe all of us experience a Felicity in our lives. We all have friends that paste a smile on their faces but behind their backs are holding the poison they are slowly drip-feeding you.