Page 134 of Chasing Hope

“Why don’t you share them?”

Her swallow is audible. “I don’t know…it’s different with you.”

“Good different or bad different?”

Her lips twitch, the smallest smile blooming, allowing a little relief to fill my lungs. “Good,” she whispers.

“Then your thoughts can’t be that ugly, can they?”

“I suppose not.” Wringing her hands in her lap, she seems toforce the words out of her mouth, like the task is impossible. “Just be gentle with me, okay?”

“I’ll treat you like the most precious thing in the world, because you are to me.”

Again, despite the reassurance, I can see something eating away at her. I don’t know if I should push or not. I want to,desperately, but what if that is the final thing to make her run?

Push or leave it?

Push or leave it?

Push or leave it?

The million-dollar question when it comes to Evie.

After a moment, I say, “You know you can trust me, right?”

“This isn’t about trust. Believe me, it’s hard enough as it is to try and keep the words in. I’ve wanted to tell you. Ireallyhave.” She lifts her eyes, so full of sadness and heartache. “But I don’t think I can.”

“Why can’t you?”

Her bottom lip wobbles. “Because I’m afraid of what you’ll do.”

Before I can stop the reaction, my body flinches as if she struck me. “I’d never hurt you.”

The betrayal that she thinks I would is thick in my voice, the evidence no doubt on display across my face. Evie’s hands snap out, clasping my waist to keep me in place. I didn’t even realize I was pulling away.

“Not to me, Matteo. I know you would never harm me,ever. But I also know you’d do anythingforme.”

“You’re being very cryptic,” I can’t help but say.

“I know, and I’m sorry for that. It’s just…hard.” Her forehead lowers to my chest as she murmurs under her breath, “So goddamn hard.”

I run a hand through my hair, not knowing how to help her in this moment. But she ends up pushing off me, trying to smile. “It’s just been a rough twenty-four hours. Let’s keep it happy.”

“Life isn’t happy all the time, Evie. If something’s happening, I want to know. I don’t think you can keep shoving your feelings aside.”

“I’m tired of not being happy, though. Yesterday should have been magical and yet it ended with me bawling my eyes out. That’s not normal, Matteo.”

I can’t help but smile. “Perhaps I’m jaded but you were incredibly lucky to grow up in the household you did, Evie. Beyond blessed.” At those words, something dark enters her gaze. “But life usually isn’t happy every day. Mine wasn’t, and maybe I’m used to the daily heartache, but it would be abnormal if you never experienced hurdles.”

“Hurdles,” she murmurs, that faraway look in her eyes again. “It’s more than hurdles.”

“What is it then?” I gently probe.

“Hell,” she states flatly.

“Then let me burn in there with you.”

Her eyes flick back and forth, searching. “You really want to know?” she whispers.