Page 127 of Chasing Hope

Why do they hate me?

Tonight was amazing. Our hockey team won for the first timethis season. We were all playing so well, all of us in sync—especially Caleb and me, although that’s nothing new.

I felt strong, powerful, on top of the world, finishing with a smile that fell when everyone’s parents came to congratulate the players and I was the only one left standing there with no one.

I’d like to say I’m used to the embarrassment but the hot, sticky feeling is one I’ll never get used to. It’s not normal to be hated by your parents, and the more I see my teammates interact with their normal families, the more obvious that becomes.

A scream of frustration crawls up my throat and turns into a sob as it comes out of my mouth.

At the sound of tires on the gravel road, I drop my head and pull my hoodie tighter around my face. I don’t want anyone to see me like this. I don’t want them to know that despite my parents forgetting about me all the time, it still hurts so much to the point I can’t breathe.

Keeping my head as low as possible, I whisper under my breath like a prayer, “Please keep going, please keep going, please keep going.”

My parents aren’t religious. They’re far too deep in the scientific community to believe in a god. That, and I have a theory they think they’re gods themselves being surgeons, but if there ever was one, he never listens to my pleas.

He certainly hasn’t started listening to me today.

The car stops beside me, forcing me to turn my head.

The front passenger window rolls down, and my stomach sinks. Mr. Ellington can’t hide the pity in his eyes as he gives me a sad smile. “Hey, Matteo, what are you doing?”

I shrug, knowing Caleb is somewhere in the car. “Walking home.”

“It’s pouring down.”

My throat tightens again, tears threatening to spill over. I shrug once more instead of talking because I know what will happen if I open my mouth—no words will come, but the tears certainly will.

Mr. Ellington leans over until the front passenger door opens.He calls through the hammering rain, “Come on, son, get in the car.”

Son.

I don’t know why the word has such an effect on me. He isn’t my father but my lower lip wobbles all the same. Maybe it’s because every night I fall asleep wishing that he was my dad instead.

A crack of thunder splits the sky and that’s all I need to hear to make me haul ass. Jumping in the front seat, I don’t dare turn around to see Caleb. I don’t want him to know I was crying. Don’t want him to know that my parents forgot me again.

Whenever he finds out, he gets really angry, so angry that Mr. and Mrs. Ellington have had to have multiple conversations with him on how he treats my parents on the rare occasions he sees them. I, on the other hand, have always loved when he defends me. It’s what I would do for him.

Mr. Ellington takes off down the road. He doesn’t even ask me, just simply drives past my street and heads toward his house.

My entire body deflates in relief when he does.

“You boys played so well today. You should be so proud of yourselves.” Flicking his eyes to me, Mr. Ellington adds, “And Matteo, I heard about your computer science project!” He whistles as if he’s impressed. “Serena told me you scored highest in your year! I can’t wait to see what you build in the future.”

My cheeks are flaming red. My parents never give me compliments, let aloneknowwhen I do well at school. The praise he gives me makes me uncomfortable but also…happy.

It makes me happy.

“Thank you, Mr. Ellington,” I murmur.

“Come on, son, it’s Marcus. You have to stop with the Mr. and Mrs. You know Serena and I prefer first names.”

Swallowing thickly, I nod. “Yes, sir.”

Mr. Ellington laughs before reaching over and ruffling my curls. “You’re too polite for your own good.” Pulling into the driveway, he asks, “What’s the plan for tonight, boys? Movie night considering the storm?”

It’s the first time Caleb talks, and his question isaimed my way. “Do you want to watch the newParanormal Activitymovie? Archer said it made his sister wet the bed, it was so scary.”

Turning in my seat, I see the worry Caleb can’t hide but there’s no pity. Never pity from my best friend. Nodding along, I grunt out a yes.