Page 118 of Chasing Hope

My chest aches, my throat stings, and then the sobs come.

What did I just do?

Chapter 34

Evie

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How much heartache can the average person handle?

Matteo’s words jab a knife through my chest. My fingers itch, the knee-jerk reaction to slap him so overwhelmingly out of character it has me blinking at myself in shock.

I would never hurt him like he did me that night.

Licking my lips, I try to conjure up a sentence, even so much as a coherent word, but all that comes out of me is a measly, “What?”

Matteo’s chest rises and falls in quick succession. “I lied.”

The ping of the elevator arriving at the twentieth floor rings out, the doors sliding open, yet neither one of us breaks eye contact or goes to move. They close again, but it isn’t enough to break me out of the trance I seem to have fallen into. Nothing could as I’m suddenly thrown back to that night.

I was a wreck after that.

After Matteo all but ripped my heart out and stomped on it, I had locked away my feelings for him. Began avoiding him at family events, muted him on all social media platforms because ofthe never-ending sense of betrayal that would bombard me every time I saw his profile update.

Along with the truth that couldn’t be ignored—unrequited love.

Because that’s what it was—is.

Love.

My heart has only ever skipped a beat forhim. Everyone else was lackluster. But I thought he wasn’t an option after that. I thought he had chosen Caleb.

“You’re lying.”

“The only lie I have ever told you was that night, and it has haunted me ever since.”

The tears that were pooling in my eyes begin to drop. “Why?”

“It never would have worked when we were that young, Evie. You have to see that now. All I could picture while you were looking at me was that you’d end up resenting me. I’ve had to move around the country for years. It wasn’t until the past three that Caleb and I were even on the same team, let alone in the same city again.”

And by then you were with Carter,is what he doesn’t have to add.

Shaking my head, I slowly back away from him, and with every step I can see the devastation grow in his eyes. Or perhaps that was always there and his wall is just now lowering.

“You ripped out my heart,” I whisper brokenly.

His lips part but no words come out. He knows I’m right.

My sadness is quickly replaced with anger, the tide within me flipping swift and sudden.

“You had no right to make that call. You’re not a fortune teller, Matteo, you would’ve had no idea if I would’ve resented you.” Huffing out a derisive laugh, I throw my hands in the air. “But I’m feeling pretty resentful right now, and it’s because of the decisionyoumade.”

“Don’t say that.Pleasedon’t say that. I wanted you to live.”

“It wasn’t your decision to make!”

Clutching his chest as if he’s in physical pain, he whispers, “You were sixteen, Evie.”