Page 116 of Chasing Hope

“Why no?” she asks.

It’s hard to miss the hopeful lilt in her voice.

She’s not wrong to be hopeful, but I can’t tell her that the only person I’m sad to leave behind is her. That it’s not her mom and dad cooking pancakes on Saturday mornings I’m going to miss but her, sitting across from me at the dining table smiling so radiantly.

She’s the sun in my life, constantly lighting up everything in my sight, and when she’s not around, it’s so dark there’s not even a moon to illuminate anything.

What will college be like without my sun?

“I’m excited to be away from my parents and to be on the same hockey team as Caleb.”

“But?” she probes.

Sighing, I dance around the truth. “I’ll miss your family. I’ve always considered them my own.”

“Oh.”

Evie sounds so dejected that when she drops her head back, my heart cracks. Squeezing her closer to me, I add, “And you, of course.”

She lifts her head again, that hopeful look back. “Really?”

“I’ve known you since I was seven. It’s going to be weird not having you around.”

“Can we still talk?”

I smile down at her. “Of course. Can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Biting her lip, Evie shuffles around unsteadily until she’s sitting on her knees facing me. “Matteo?” she whispers.

My brow arches at her using my first name until I see the way she’s looking at me. My stomach drops, but my heart skips a beat. How can I be excited that something is about to happen and yet dreading it all the same?

Evie takes a swig of her drink before placing the cup down, pulling a face like she sucked on a lemon. Coughing, she breathes, “Jesus Christ, what did they put in this punch?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose, chuckling. “Never touch the punch at parties. It’s a recipe for disaster.”

“Well I know thatnow.” Shaking her head, she waves me off. “We’re getting offtrack.”

No, please stay off track, a part of me wants to beg while the other whispers,Say it, Dove. Please say it.

Clearing her throat, she squeezes her eyes closed then flings them wide open, blurting, “I don’t want you to leave without you knowing I like you.” Jumping to stand, she begins to pace, her breathing frantic. “And I know. You’re my brother’s best friend, you’re older… All these variables don’t work, right?”

I say nothing. I could never force myself to agree with her because I’d happily fuck shit up if I knew it would work. If I wasn’t moving across the country and chasing a career that I know could andwilltake me anywhere.

“It’s just, I feel it, you know? And I’m not stupid, I catch you looking at me.”

My eyes widen at that but she rushes forward, waving me off. I’m so tall that we’re at eye level, me sitting and her standing. She places her hands on my shoulders, imploring me with her glassy eyes.

“I’d regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t do this,” she whispers.

That’s all the warning I get before she leans forward and brushes her lips against mine.

Lightning striking my body would be far less of a jolt to my system.

Energy courses between our lips, a physical zap of electricity, but that’s all I allow. Just a mere split second of ecstasy before I place my hands on her hips and gently push.

“Evie,” I whisper. “You’re drunk.”

“So?”