Page 109 of Chasing Hope

Facing the music, I slowly lift my head to his and find myself caught in his gaze.

“A lot,” I answer honestly.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

Not really.

Shaking my head, I bite my lip before ripping my eyes away before his lure me into spilling all of my secrets.

Like how for the first time in my life, I didn’t dissociate when a man touched me. I actuallywantedto be intimate. The physical vulnerability Matteo put me in didn’t make me feel as if a thousand ants were crawling all over my skin.

Putting his back to the stars and the mountains, Matteo leans against the railing, crossing his arms over his chest and staring me down. I don’t have to see it to know it, I canfeelit on my skin, scorching a path.

“Lucky I brought my camera,” I say, changing the subject.

“Grayson and Bella are lucky indeed.” Holding out his hands, he asks, “Can I see it?”

I give him the camera, stunned to see a slight tremble in my fingers. It’s his scent, enveloping me in a caress that I wish was real. My hands physically itch to reach out to him, to pull him close and kiss him.

I’m so in my head I don’t realize he’s taken the camera from me until a flash strikes my face. As I blink up at Matteo, the camera goes off again.

He slowly lowers it, his eyes boring into mine as he whispers gutturally, “My beautiful Dove.”

A sharp intake of air through my teeth is the only response I can give. My heart has taken flight once more, thumping a wild beat until I force myself to swallow past the lump in my throat and croak out, “Camera please.”

He holds it away from me. “A question in exchange for the camera.”

Arching a brow, I fold my arms over my chest. “Are you blackmailing me, Valenti?”

His lip twitches at the use of his surname. “I’ll do whatever I have to in order to get you talking to me again.”

“I’m talking right now, aren’t I?”

He takes a step forward and I’m forced to lift my chin.

“You’re hiding from me and you know it.” Holding the camera behind his back, he repeats, “Camera for a question.”

“Okay,” I hear myself say before I can truly think on it.

A level of vulnerability enters his gaze, along with a type of guardedness that has me steeling my spine. But it’s shock that thunders through me as he whispers, “Have I fucked this up? Have I ruined us?”

My answer is swift, no pondering needed. “You could never.”

His shoulders drop, tension leaking from his features until he grows wary once more. “Then why are you avoiding me?” My head falls, lips parting, only for two of his fingers to gently grab my chin and bring me back. “Eyes on me, Dove. No more hiding.”

“You’re very bossy tonight.”

He gives me a crooked grin. “And something tells me you love it.”

Licking my suddenly parched lips, I whisper, “I…”

I…what?

I’m scared you only want to use me?

I’m afraid you don’t feel the same?

I’m afraid you just had a momentary lapse in judgment?