Page 87 of Fighting Chance
Ten digits given, albeit reluctantly, later, the guy winks at me and walks away, leaving a sour taste in my mouth. I turn my attention to Cindy, my heart a little hurt.
“Why did you do that?”
Bella falls silent, her hand clutching mine under the table. She will push me when it’s needed and I’m always thankful for it but this…I’m not sure how to feel about it.
As if buckets of ice were poured over her, she sobers. “Fuck, Layla, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—” She sighs and I can practically see the guilt and disappointment in herself swallowing her whole. “I just thought…it’s just…”
Bella swoops in. “We’ve noticed how you and Kieran are around each other and we think you two just…need a little push.”
“If you think we need a push then why push me toward a different guy?” I ask, letting go of Bella’s hand beneath the table and ignoring the flash of hurt in her eyes.
Cindy shrugs but the guilt is still there. “Because I thought that maybe if you went on a date with someone else and noticed how they don’t make you feel alive?—”
“Like Kieran does,” Bella adds, “that maybe you would?—”
“What, suddenly admit I like Kieran?” I take a shuddering breath, their train of thought hitting far too close to what just happened in my mind. And despite knowing they’re right, I still feel hurt. I feel pushed, forced against what I want, and…I want to make decisions for myself. I’m tired of others doing it for me.
For years I was told what I could and couldn’t do. Even my own body would shackle me with its failure.
I need this part of my life to be on my terms.
This has nothing to do with my medical trauma, but it hit a nerve. Cindy doesn’t know how hard it was for me, how much loss of control I had. She was trying to help and I can see that, but not enough to swallow my pain right now.
“I know I’m attracted to Kieran but I also know that he doesn’t feel anything more than lust for me. What Kieran and I have right now works, okay? So please don’t push any further,” I say, kindly yet stern.
Cindy leans across the table and clasps my hand. “Layla, I’mso sorry. That was too far and I should have seen you didn’t want to be pushed like that.”
The sincerity of her words soothes some of the ache in my chest but not entirely because…because they’re both right, and I hate that they are. Despite me trying to push Kieran away, he’s wriggled into my heart.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, shaking off the desolate feeling. “Let’s do a night restart.” Grinning, I look over at the makeshift stage. “Anyone up for karaoke?”
UNKNOWN NUMBER
Hey Red, was great meeting you last night
when are you free for that date?
Chapter 17
Kieran
BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER
please tell me my security camera is lying to me
KIERAN
your security camera is lying to you
BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER
Kieran you have your own kitchen…and your own groceries…and your own money to buy whatever you please
so tell me why the hell you were at my house stealing my cereal
KIERAN
yours tastes better
