Page 52 of Fighting Chance

She waves her hand in the air. “It’s okay. I’m still not drinking that much and Cindy knows you can’t with your medication, so she most likely will bring her own bottle.”

Relief courses through me, swift and sudden that I don’t have to endure that awkward conversation. I’ve never understood it, why people can be so offended about what you do and don’t put in your body, but this past year as I’ve had to swear off alcohol, I’ve come to realize that others have an oddly strong aversion if you choose not to drink.

I’m sure Bella would know—she and Grayson have had countless similar situations when Grayson informs strangers he’s sober. Especially since Bella decided to go sober alongside him in support, with just the odd glass of wine here and there.

I doubt Cindy would be one of those people based on the things Bella has shared of her, but I’m grateful all the same that I don’t have to talk about my medication right off the bat.

“She’s so excited to finally meet you.”

“I’m excited too. I feel like I already know her.”

Opening the fridge, I pull out the groceries I bought today for the cheeseboard and sides. As I search around for utensils, I make a mental note to help Kieran order more serveware.

Bella locates something to use as a serving board as she says in awe, “I’m so proud, Lil. Look at you, kicking lupus’s ass.”

I couldn’t stop smiling even if I tried. “And now I work just across the road from you!”

Bella squeals as she gets out a knife to cut the cured meats. “We’re making up for lost time.”

“Longest seventeen months of my life,” I mutter. “Although not as bad as you had it. I still can’t believe you woke up in the middle of the night to talk to me.”

She lifts a shoulder. “I’d do anything for you.”

“Anything?” I ask.

Her eyes slide to mine. “What do you have in mind?”

“Any chance you’d let me steal Bambi for Emmy’s speech therapy session on Monday?”

“Oh my gosh, of course!” She smiles. “Can’t believe I didn’t think of that sooner. Bambi always manages to bring her out of her shell.”

“I ran the idea past Kieran this morning?—”

“How’s that going, by the way?”

“Him being my boss? Or the nannying role?”

A coy smile dances along her lips. “More like, how is his flirting?”

I roll my eyes. “We have a deal in place. He can flirt with me but not while Emmy is around.”

“And how’sthatgoing?”

I frown down at the cheeses. “Surprisingly, we’re around each other a lot without her.”

Bella howls with laughter right as I hear the front door open and a soft cheery voice call out, “I brought food!”

As I turn to greet Cindy, a small body slams into my legs, little hands clinging to my jeans. Bella moves past me to say hello, while I peer down at Emmy now hiding behind my legs.

With the way my hands turn clammy from nerves, I wish I could hide behind someone’s legs too.

I feel like I’m on the cusp of something new. That there’s a shift happening within me, an older version of myself being left behind as I step into a newer version. A version who can meet people with a smile on her face that isn’t forced, a pep in her step that isn’t fake, and a radiance that can’t be feigned.

It terrifies me to let go of my older self that I was trapped within for over twelve years.

But not as much as it excites me.

Cindy rounds the corner, her blonde hair perfectly blow-dried, her loose curls bouncing as our smiles mirror each other’s. With my hand gently on top of Emmy’s head, I hold out my free arm as Cindy squeals and rushes for me.