Page 28 of Fighting Chance

I have to clear a lump of emotion in my throat to say, “Well, if you want it, my mom would love to help.”

He blows out a shaky breath. “I’ll take all the help I can get. I’m not going to turn it away, not when it comes to Emmy. Which brings me to you. We should talk about what I need from you, along with your salary.” He rubs the nape of his neck. “I’ll have my agent draw up a contract. I just…I haven’t told anyone else and there’s still the house to do?—”

“Don’t even worry about it. Let’s just focus on one thing at a time. First step is getting the house done.”

“And figuring out what type of parent I want to be,” he all but growls, his frustration bubbling to the surface.

Worrying my lower lip, I tread with caution, not wanting to overstep. “I don’t want this to come across like I’m throwing another idea at you…”

His gaze sears me to the spot. “I’m always open to hearing your thoughts.”

“Why don’t you just be yourself? Emmy has had enough serious situations for someone so young, and by the way she’s playing with Bambi, maybe that’s all she needs right now.”

“A dog?”

“Fun,” I correct. “She needs fun. She needs to feel like a kid.”

He muses over my words. “But I can’t just be a fun parent all the time. All the parenting blogs I read last night said how important stability and a firm parenting style are. They said you can’t be too much of a friend, otherwise they won’t respect you.”

I weigh my head from side to side. “Everything needs balance, Kieran. I think you’ll learn that as you go. Moments of fun, moments of tantrums and sadness, but right now, Emmy needs lightness.” I nudge him with my shoulder. “Also don’t forget that all those parents writing the blogs are first-time parents, too. Nobody knows all the answers and every child is so different you can’t be too rigid in your approach because what’s right for one might not fit another.”

Kieran stares at me so deeply I can’t help but feel self-conscious. As the silence stretches, I wipe at my cheeks, murmuring, “What? Do I have something on my face?”

“No, I’m just…you always amaze me. Whenever I think I have you figured out, you go and surprise me again.”

“I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or not.”

His lip twitches. “It’s very much a compliment. I can usually read everyone.” He pauses. “You’re very wise for someone our age.”

“First of all, you’re older than me.”

He snorts. “By three years, but if an age gap is your type of kink I’m happy to get a fake ID.”

I fear that by the end of this job my eyes will be stuck in the back of my head by how often I roll them around Kieran. “You’re shameless, Ashford.”

“Only with you.” He nudges my leg with his knee, the ghost of his touch heating my skin, the warmth traveling up my body.

Do not blush over a knee brush, Layla. I repeat, donotblush over a goddamn brush of his knee.

I blush.

“And the second thing?” he prompts.

Clearing my throat and my mind, I go on. “Having an illness ages you, especially one that robbed you of your childhood.”

Kieran’s quiet for a moment before he whispers, “Seems like Emmy isn’t the only one who deserves some fun.”

I smile at that. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“I’ll be your vault.”

I’m not sure why I want to confess this to him. I haven’t even told Bella about it, but I suddenly find myself saying, “I made a life list.”

Kieran sits up straighter, dramatically gasping. “Layla! How scandalous of you!”

I slap his chest again, but note this time how my hand tingles and his chest rises on a sharp inhale at the quick contact. I quickly avert my gaze. “Don’t make fun of me. I read a lot and as much as I love it, I’ve recently realized that I was reading that much while I was sick because I could live vicariously through the books. But now that I can do things without my body failing me…”

“You want to experience life outside of books.” All pretenses of humor have faded away.