Page 226 of Fighting Chance

“I sent her a message. I told her to let herself in.”

“Thank you,” she murmurs, her eyes closing as she soaks in the warm tub.

Keeping my arms around her, I lay my chin on top of her head, not knowing if I can rub her skin or if that will hurt her more.

“Layla, did I…” My words trail off, my throat tightening, and I find I can’t ask the question.

“No, not at all, Kieran. This isn’t from…” She clears her throat. “I told you I’ve been feeling off lately. I promise it’s not from yesterday.” Layla begins to sniffle, her shoulders shaking. “I just wanted to be normal. I’m tired of this. I’m so, so tired.”

Tears roll down her cheeks in waves and I wish nothing more than to hold her tighter.

“I know, baby, I’m so sorry. If I could trade places with you I would in a heartbeat.”

Layla’s breathing quickens, shifting from the breaths of someone who’s crying to something entirely different, to a breathing pattern I recognize instantly.

She shakes her head side to side. “I don’t want to do this again. I don’t want to be sick anymore!”

On the last word, the dam erupts within her and my sunshine breaks. Devastation like I’ve never seen before overpowers her, consuming her in a tidal wave of panic and sadness. Her sobs have my own tears rolling down my face.

“I-I don’t want to do this again. Ican’tdo it again.”

“Yes you can, baby. You’re strong, the strongest person I know.”

“I’m not, Kieran,” she hiccups. “I won’t be able to go through it again. I thought I was better.”

I kiss her forehead, trying to coax her through her panic. “If you can’t be strong right now, sunshine, then I’ll be strong for the both of us.” I run a hand down her hair. “I’ve got you, just let it all out, baby.”

And she does.

Gigantic heaving sobs pour from her.

“That’s it, Layla. Breathe through it, sunshine. Breathe.”

Her chest rises on a deep inhale, her first one since the tears began streaming down her freckle-covered cheeks.

“W-what if the medication stopped working? What if I got to taste feeling normal and now I have to go back to being miserable?”

I’d love to promise her that I won’t let that happen, that I’ll throw every cent and penny I have at doctors until they’re able to find something manageable for her lupus, but I know I can’t. I can’t control science.

And I don’t want to begin breaking promises to her now.

I’m saved from having to try to come up with an answer to something impossible when I hear the front door bang open downstairs, the rush of feet running up the stairs.

“In here!” I call out. “Bella’s here, sunshine,” I whisper in her ear.

No sooner do the words leave my lips, Bella barges into the bathroom, coming to a skidding halt at the sight of us. “What the?—”

Shrugging helplessly, I explain, “I didn’t know how to get her in without hurting her.”

Dropping to her knees and ignoring the water she gets on her from that, Bella reaches over and pushes Layla’s hair out of her eyes.

“Hey, B,” Layla whispers.

“Hey, Lil. I take it you’re having?—”

“Don’t say it.”

“Okay.” Bella’s gaze lifts to mine before she looks at the two of us entangled in the steaming bath. “You can’t move. I’m going to go get everything I know that can help. I have a kit that I brought over?—”