Page 208 of Fighting Chance

“Her belt.”

Another.

“Her heel.”

My breath stutters out of me, my shoulders quaking.

Kieran wraps his arms around me, drawing me into his naked body. “Shh.” He presses a kiss to my temple. “This is why I didn’t want to?—”

I pull back from him, imploring him with my gaze to hear me. “I said I can handle it, and I can. I can carry your heaviness, Kieran. I can carry your pain and suffering, but do not ask me not to mourn the childhood that was robbed from you. What you went through is horrible and I want to feel every ounce of hatred and hurt for what that god-awful devil of a woman did to you.” Lifting my hand to his face, I catch a tear that rolls down his cheek with my thumb. “Let me be sad for the little boy that didn’t get the love he deserved.” I’m quiet for a moment, allowing my words to sink before I ask, “Did you ever report her?”

A thousand thoughts fly behind his eyes, his turmoil evident. “No.”

“You could still report her. She shouldn’t be running the foster home, Kieran. Someone like that should never be allowed near children.”

“I know but…” He shrugs. “I always thought if I did, the foster home would be shut down and those children wouldn’t have a home.”

“Why would you think that?” I ask gently.

They’d find a replacement surely, but I’m careful with my words. His knee-jerk reaction, saying no to reporting her, is no doubt from the years of abuse. She probably instilled fear within him that he doesn’t even realize is still there.

He frowns. “Well, because she…because…”

Letting Kieran sit with his thoughts for a moment, I just wait patiently, let my presence comfort him. Allow him to play with the strands of my hair, allow him to gaze into my eyes and see the openness waiting there for him, the willingness to fight for him when no one else did.

He’s kept these secrets close to his chest for so long. I’m not going to push him to do anything he doesn’t want to do, but I will champion him.

Blowing out a breath, Kieran squeezes his eyes shut before forcing them open. “I guess a part of me knew that her abuse wasn’t the worst.”

My brows furrow. “What do you mean?”

His fingers fiddle with my hair, his knee bouncing.

“Kieran?” I probe gently.

“Just that…what she did to me wasn’t the worst thing that happened to me.”

I stop breathing.

“What was?” I hear myself ask, but I’m so fearful of the answer a part of my heart floats away, protecting itself for what I know is about to be a death blow.

Kieran avoids my gaze. “I-I can’t. You won’t be able to look at me the same. It’s not…right.”

Now my heart really is breaking.

“Kieran, I know who you are. You are kind, smart, talented, sweet beyond measure, and have the purest soul I’ve ever seen. Nothing you could ever tell me would change my mind.”

“No, you don’t get it. This…” He swallows and I swear it looks like he’s about to be sick. “It’s wrong, Layla. You’ll think I’m…dirty.”

Sitting up on my knees, I gently cup his cheeks, forcing his eyes to mine. My heart rises in my throat at the silver filling his eyes. “You are not dirty.”

My words are gentle but hold every ounce of conviction I can muster into them because I know. Something deep within me justknows. I can’t explain it, but I don’t even need Kieran to say it. It takes everything in me not to vomit right here and now.

“H-he, um…my mom…her friend—” His words cut off as he sits up, suddenly unable to breath. He’s clutching his chest, hand shaking.

The movement exposes him. I quickly lay the blanket back over him, knowing the last thing he needs right now is to be vulnerable while talking about it.

I run my hand through his hair toward the nape of his neck, feeling the sweat glistening on his skin. “In for four, baby. Deep breath, just breathe with me. It’s okay, you’re safe now.”