Page 189 of Fighting Chance

I was raped.

My mother handed me over to my rapist. Then she left me on the side of the road like a dog.

And no one ever loved me after that day.

Grayson falls silent for so long I turn my head to check what he’s doing.

I wish I hadn’t.

His brows are furrowed, concern etched across every line of his face, his eyes searching. I’m worried he will see too much.

“Please, I’ll tell you if I’m ever ready. This thing with Layla stirred up a lot for me, okay?”

“With your mom?” he asks gently.

I dip my chin, my confirmation making him blow out a heavy breath.

“I might sound like a dick for this and god knows I love Layla like a sister, but you’re my best friend, Kieran, and I can see it killing you to be around her and not bewithher.” He rubs the nape of his neck. “Should you maybe find another nanny?”

“I can’t do that to Emmy.”Or to myself.“I’d rather have the relationship we do than never see her.”

Grayson nods as if he understands. “I respect your decision. God knows Bella didn’t make it easy for me those first fewmonths, so when I say I get it, I do. And don’t hate me for asking, I just needed to put you first, okay?”

My lip twitches, trying to smile, but it never fully blooms. “You’re a good friend.”

“Apparently not good enough.” A darkness enters his gaze, his voice so thick with emotion my heart sinks like a rock in the ocean. “What did you mean the other week when you said you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me?”

“You’re really trying to make me cry today, aren’t you, Cap?”

“No, I just…did you…?”

“Want to die?” I say bluntly because I know he can’t say the words. “Yes. A lot when I was younger.” I turn to face the parking lot and not the devastation in my friend’s eyes, rip open my heart and whisper, “It was hard in the home growing up…so fucking hard.”

It’s quiet for a long while, until Grayson chokes out, “I’m sorry I never noticed. I’m so sorry, Kieran.”

Leaning over, I clap him on the shoulder, squeezing. “You and your family did more than anyone ever has. You don’t need to apologize, Crawford.”

He nods but the silver lining his eyes begins to spill. “Thank you for not leaving. That would have really fucked with my head.”

I can’t help it, I laugh. “Couldn’t leave my best friend to do life alone.”

He sniffles around a chuckle. “No, you fucking couldn’t. I would have been so pissed at you if you left me.”

My smile is forming now as I look at my best friend and see so evidently how much he cares for me. “Thank you for everything, man,” I say hoarsely before straightening and clapping my hands, desperately needing to lighten the mood. “Now, can you tell me why the hell you dragged me to a store on a Sunday?”

Grayson’s lip twitches, the sudden switch in emotion making me pause.

“You’re not forcing me to buy princess dresses or anything, right? No sex shops, because I swear to fucking god, Grayson?—”

“I’m buying a ring,” he blurts out.

I’m flying across the car console and tackling my best friend before he so much as blinks.

“Holy fucking shit!” I punch his arm.

“Ow!”

“Why the fuck didn’t you say sooner, you fucking sad pathetic asshole? You made it all sad with my shit, dude! You’re buying a fucking ring!”