Page 125 of Lyric Squared

“Uh. Uhh. What’s going on?” Collin jumped, startled from his sleep.

I leaned forward until my lips were just an inch or two away from his ear.

“Either walk out of here with some dignity or prepare to meet me outside, bitch,” I whispered before lifting straight up and adjusting my clothing.

I didn’t wait for his decision to be made before stepping off and toward Lyric’s bed. Just as I did, the doctor entered her room.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Flores. If I could just have anyone who isn’t immediate family to step out of the room so that I can have a word with Ms. Einsenberg. I promise it won’t take long.”

Everyone remained planted wherever they were. Nobody budged, no one except Collin. He used it as his opportunity to exit, and I was happy that he had. Hearing that he’d been in Lyric’s mix when she’d lost consciousness wasn’t sitting well with me. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t get the point and stay the fuck out of her face.

“Okaaaaaaaay,” the young, vibrant doctor responded as she looked around at us all.

“It’s fine,” Lyric finally spoke.

Hearing the sadness in her voice pulled me deeper into her trance. Out of touch with reality and consumed with my love for her, my world began to revolve again after hearing her speak. She meant the most to me. More than anything and anyone in the world. In so many ways, she was all that I truly had. There were blood relatives, but she filled every void that had ever been created in my world – effortlessly. She was easily my everything.The completion of me. So, when she was sad, so was I. My feelings mirrored hers. Whatever she gave was reciprocated, emotions included.

“Unfortunately, we were unable to locate the baby’s heartbeat during the ultrasound you had less than twenty minutes ago. After a closer look, we didn’t discover any specific reason for the loss of your baby. Sometimes our bodies simply fight off anything foreign as if it is a threat to our health and wellness. I’m so sorry to deliver this news and was hoping for a much better outcome but this is the reality of it all. Your baby passed naturally through the fluids your body released on the way to the hospital. There was no way that you or the staff here could’ve prevented this. Your body simply decided not to carry the baby to term.”

The words she spoke paralyzed me briefly. It wasn’t until I heard the unforgettable wails that came from Lyric’s throat that I was snapped back into reality. That was it. My baby was gone. The child that I’d just gotten to see for the first time a few hours ago. The one who had the strong heartbeat that reminded me of a train going too many miles per hour on the track. The one I’d kissed so many times before Lyric had dozed off and even more before I’d left to go play ball. The one that I’d prayed for just minutes ago.

“FUCK!”

The daunting, heart-shattering shriek that was sourced from my soul rattled my entire body. Everything inside of me somehow died at once. I had no strength. No energy. No voice. No rationality. And, no baby. In a matter of hours, all was lost. I felt like my mind would be the next to go.

“Nah,” Luca said, catching my attention. “Nah,” he repeated before making his way out of the room.

“Nigga, either I’m boo boo the fucking fool or you taking this shit a little too personal,” Laike yell-whispered as he got a bit closer to me.

With his chest out and his nostrils flared, he waited for a response. He’d be waiting forever because I didn’t have one to give him. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know what the fuck was going on. There wasn’t much explaining to be done. The cat was out of the bag. Though I’d never intended for it to be the way that it was, I couldn’t change it.

It had been Lyric’s decision to keep them in the dark but now wasn’t the time to talk about any of that. We’d just lost our child and worrying about how a motherfucker felt about anything beyond that wasn’t on my radar. When it all boiled down, it was fuck everybody if necessary.

Choosing not to engage, I left Laike standing with his face in a knot as I exited the hospital room. Not only was I trying to manage my emotions but facing Lyric as she went through a series of emotions was too fucking much. So, the thought of managing three other niggas and their feelings just wasn’t in my deck of cards. Maybe tomorrow, but definitely not tonight.

That didn’t matter to, though, because as soon as I exited the front doors of the hospital, I felt a gush of wind. Before Luca’s fist was able to connect with my jaw, I weaved and mustered enough energy to square up. With every blow that Luca landed, I followed up with one. I could feel my lip began to swell and the blood that quickly filled the inside of my mouth from trauma to my jaw. Luca’s nose leaked profusely, accompanied by a fire red ear that was a result of my fist.

Everything was happening so fast that I didn’t know we’d locked up until I felt Laike and Liam pulling us apart. I’d never forget the hurt that sat in Luca’s orbs. It was the pain that I’d been trying to avoid since the first night I was intimate withLyric. Yet, here were where, both hurting and both deep in our fucking feelings.

“Tonight,Luca? Like right now, my nigga? By any means, I’m down to tussle but fight me tomorrow, nigga. Tonight, I don’t have any fight in me. I just… I just lost my fucking kid, yo!”

Pointing toward the doors we’d just walked from, I reminded him. Hands on my knees as I leaned forward, I tried catching my breath. Nothing made sense. Nothing. Nothing but the tears that fell from my eyes to the ground as I focused on breathing and not dying because for the first time in my life, that’s what it felt like I was doing.

Dying.The pain was too excruciating to survive. This had to be the end of me. My heart had been ripped right out of my fucking chest. A heartless nigga. That’s what I’d been reduced to.

The moment I stood straight in an attempt to contain my volcanic emotions, Luca’s arms swarmed my body as he pulled me into him. The strength that I didn’t have to hold myself up with any longer, he mustered. And the same thick tears that fell from my eyes, he cried them.

“FUCK!” he howled, the pain in his heart surfacing in his actions and words. “Fuck, man!”

“I’m wrong, my nigga. I’m wrong. But, I can’t beef with you today or no other day. Today, I need you.”

“Ain’t no beef, nigga. Not today or tomorrow. Never. And, I’m right here. My shit hurting, too. I got you!” Luca cried into my shoulder.

I’m not sure how long we stood there, holding one another and pounding each other’s backs as the tears flowed freely. These were my brothers for life and I felt like I’d betrayed them in the worst way possible. Lyric wasn’t just their responsibility.She’d been mine since the day that I met her. And, for her, we’d all step. There weren’t any questions.

“Aight. Aight. Aight. Ya’ll niggas starting to look like hoes over there. Break that shit up,” Laike yelled.

“Watch your mouth,” Liam fussed, popping Laike in the chest.