Page 11 of Lyric Squared

Turning toward my friend, I swallowed the pile of saliva at the back of my throat and tilted my head. I was trying to find the perfect words to express my sentiments but couldn’t quite put together the right combination. As I gnawed on the inside of my lip, Ever waited for whatever was to come.

“What is it, love?” she questioned, patiently waiting for me to spill but also knowing that I needed the encouragement. “It’s okay, Lyric. It’s me you’re talking to.”

“You ever felt like you were in love with someone, but you’ve never had the pleasure of actually loving them? Like, you don’t remember the month, day, hour, or year it happened. You just looked up and this person was a piece of you, though they have no idea how you actually feel?”

“I loved Luca the moment I laid eyes on him. I loved him more than I’d ever loved any man in my entire life in a matter of seconds. Before he got out of your truck the day we picked him up, he owned my heart. He didn’t know it or know how I felt, but I knew he was my person. I knew that he was for me. So, I understand, Lyric. I promise I do.”

“That’s how I feel about Ken. I feel like he’s for me but it’s not as easy as I’d like it to be. There’s history. He’s family. And what’s crazy is that’s the very reason I trust him and I trust that he’ll never put my brothers in a compromising position. I feel like he’ll handle me and my heart with care, but I’m like his little sister.”

“Did you hear the same man on the line as me, Lyric?” Ever asked as she placed Elle into the water with Emorey. Essence was feet away in the shower having the time of her life.

“It meant nothing, Ever.”

“Who are you trying to convince? Yourself or me? Because I heard him and have been hearing him loud and clear since the moment I met him. You’re beating yourself up about nothing. He wants you just as bad as you want him, no matter what risks are involved.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” I admitted.

“You won’t know until you ask him. Will you? Now is a better time than any. He’s sitting still. His ears and his heart are both open.”

“I’m not going to see that man and embarrass myself pouring my heart out to him in a visitation room. He’ll just call my brothers, and then I’ll be too shamed to even come out of my house for the next five years.”

“That won’t happen. You and I both know it. He wouldn’t humiliate you like that.”

“Then why suggest it? Because there’s always a small possibility that he will.”

“Write him.”

“What?”

I could feel the scrunching of my features as I looked at Ever like she’d grown two heads. Just like Luca, she wasn’t fazed. The two definitely belonged together. They were the epitome of unbothered.

I grabbed Emorey’s sponge and soaped it up. Her little arms shot in the air, already knowing what time it was. She loved baths and so did Elle. If Ever would allow her to, she’d take three or four each day. However. Bath time wasn’t the easiest for Ever with her belly growing more and more daily. She’d just reached the six-month mark and was glowing.

“Arms up!” I told her anyway, but only because she loved hearing it.

“Arms up!” Emorey repeated.

I looked over to find Elle’s arms in the air, too.

“Awww. Pumpkin, you’re getting the hang of this thing, too?”

The few teeth that she had in her mouth were on full display as she smiled, drooling in the process. She fell right in line with the other girls, resembling Ever. However, my brother hadn’t gone down without a fight. She had his nose and the structure of his large, round eyes. She had ears just like him, too. We all had those Eisenberg ears. There was no denying them. Lucas would have them, too.

“Write him,” Ever clarified as she picked back up where we’d left off, “tonight. For his birthday. He has that email thing. That’s how Luca had me send him a message to call weeks ago before sending a message through someone else. It’s simple and only costs a few cents. He can see the message and respond fairly quickly. He just didn’t respond to us because there wasn’t a need. We didn’t give him anything to respond to. We just told him to call us.”

“And he still didn’t do that.”

“Well, because it’s hard in there, Lyric. You guys said Luca never called either. They’re just trying to get their time over and done. I can understand the lack of communication. Who wants to constantly be reminded of what they’re missing on the outside?”

“You’re right.”

“So write him.”

Sighing, I slumped on the floor of the bathroom with shoulders hunched and posture slouched. My thigh-high boots were long gone and replaced with the pair of slippers I kept at Luca’s for nights like this one. Nights when I wanted to do more than keep the girls company. Nights when I was ready to make my brother and best friend’s lives easier. Nights when I was in full auntie mode.

“I’m not going to write him, Ever.”

“I mean this in the most loving way, Lyric, but seriously babe. You have to grow the hell up. You’ve avoided any type of relationship for the last ten years, depriving yourself of happiness and while I know that it had a lot to do with Luca, I know for a fact that it has had something to do with Ken as well. You’ve been waiting for him. You’re still waiting for him, and he’s waiting for you. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you. I can hear it in his voice when he speaks to or speaks of you. Hewants everything to do with you, but he doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries you might have set unknowingly.”