Page 91 of Laird of Wrath

Irritation flared in his chest.

Shouldn’t it be enough, he wondered? Shouldn’t it be enough that he was fighting for them all, that he was putting his life on the line every single day for them? Shouldn’t it be enough thathe was keeping them safe, that he was doing everything in his power to make sure his family and his people never went hungry, never suffered, never had to endure a famine or illness?

“The things I do for this clan… for ye… ye daenae even ken half of it,” he grunted. “All I do is for ye.”

“Daenae take me for a fool,” Sienna scoffed. “Ye think I daenae ken of all the sacrifices ye’ve made? I was ready to make the same sacrifices, Callum. I was ready to wed that man if needed for the same reason ye go to all these wars. For the same reason ye fight for this clan every day. For the same reason ye wedded Rhea.”

“It’s nae the same,” Callum argued.

There was nothing Rhea and Laird Barclay had in common. Yet simply by saying that, he was proving his sister’s point.

And she was quick to catch on.

“Exactly,” Sienna said. “It isnae the same because ye would never have suffered by Rhea’s side as I would have suffered by Laird Barclay’s. Ye had the fortune to wed a wonderful lass. I had the fortune to gain a sister. And I daenae understand why it’s so difficult for ye to love her.”

Callum couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped him. If only his sister knew. If only she knew just how much he loved Rhea,just how much he cherished her—enough to keep himself away from her all this time, even though it shattered him to do so.

Every hour apart was agony. All he wanted to do was gather her in his arms, hold her, and never let her go. He loved her more than he had ever thought possible, more than he thought anyone could love another.

And that was precisely why he had to stay away from her.

“Why are ye laughin’?” Sienna demanded. “Is this amusin’ to ye?”

“There is nothin' amusin’ about this,” Callum said, his voice rough, the words choked off by the lump growing rapidly in his throat.

He reached for his whisky and downed it in one big gulp before refilling it again. Then, as an afterthought, he grabbed another cup from the shelf behind him and filled it for Sienna, sliding it across the desk toward her.

His sister grabbed it and took a big swig, wincing as she swallowed. It was strong stuff. Not the kind he would have usually given to her, but considering the situation, he supposed it was the only thing that kept them both going now.

Sienna, too, was exhausted. The dark circles under her eyes were deep, hollow, like lingering shadows. She could barely keep her eyes open, and he had the distinct feeling that the moment shestepped back into her chambers, deep sleep would claim her, aided by the drink.

Good. She needs it.

“Sometimes I daenae understand ye,” Sienna said over the rim of her cup. “I thought… with the way ye look at her…”

“What?”

“I thought ye loved her.”

“I do.”

It was the truth, plain and simple, and it no longer hurt him to admit it. There was no point in running from it. The only thing he needed to run from was his love for Rhea. It was one thing to acknowledge it, to know that he was in love with her; it was another to act on it when every time they grew close, she ended up being in danger.

With a groan, Sienna slammed her cup on the desk and threw her hands up in frustration. “Then why are ye actin’ like this? Have ye lost yer mind? If ye love her, why would ye nae show it to her?”

Callum took a deep breath, trying to fill his lungs in vain. Every time this conversation came up, even in his own mind, he felt as though all the air was sucked out of his lungs.

“Because, Sienna… I’m a monster.”

Sienna didn’t speak at first. She only blinked in confusion, as if his words had left her speechless, not knowing what to say.

“What?”

“I’m a monster,” Callum repeated. “I’m nae… I’m nae meself anymore. The war… it changes ye. And it’s nae only the war, it’s nae only meself. If I daenae hurt her with me words or me actions, then someone else will hurt her just because I am near her. Did ye nae see what happened with Barclay? She was hurt because of me. She was hurt because he tried to use her to get to me, and I ken this willnae be the last time somethin’ like this happens. If they find out I love her… if they find out she’s me weakness?—”

“Ye’re a fool,” Sienna snapped.

All the despair and helplessness that had gripped Callum disappeared in an instant, replaced instead by a righteous anger.