Page 44 of Shattered Oaths

“I promise.”

***

People begin packing up their belongings and returning to their cars, some already pulling out of the drive-in, as I blink away the memory from all those years ago.

Bella’s head rests against my shoulder and she doesn’t move as the end credits roll across the screen. I glance down at her, my chest tight with regret as I examine her features. Long lashes fan over her face, and her breaths are heavy and even, telling me that she’s fallen asleep.I take the opportunity to really look at her. At the peaceful expression on her flawless face. At the way her shoulders rise and fall with ever inhale and exhale of breath. How her full, pink lips are slightly parted.

I run a hand over the top of her hair and remove the bow hair clip, allowing the glossy strands to fall freely over her shoulders. She doesn’t move at my touch and I lean down, placing my lips against her forehead and breathe her in. She smells like vanilla cupcakes and it’s exactly what I’ve imagined she’d smell like. I silently wonder if it’s her shampoo or her lotion, making it my life’s mission to figure out which one so that I can buy her a lifetimes supply so that she never runs out or changes it.

For the briefest of moments, with her head resting against me and my lips to her skin, I imagine she’s mine. I imagine that I’ll wake her from her sleep and we’ll go home and climb intoourbed. That I’ll be able to touch her in every way that she’ll allow me to, and I’ll never have to feel guilty for it. But most of all, I imagine what life could have been like had I not lied that day.

I pictureushaving a life like my brothers’. Picture Killian shaking my hand and welcoming me to the family when we get engaged. If I had just been honest about my feelings from the start, would we have already been engaged by now? Married, even?

But all of that is ripped away when I remember the elephant sized secret I’ve kept for eight years. The promiseI made and broke anyway. And then I pull my lips away from her forehead and shift back slightly, clearing my throat.

Bella’s eyes flutter open and she blinks up at me deliriously for a moment before she realises that she’s leaning on me and sits upright. “I’m sorry. I must’ve dozed off.”

I chuckle but it sounds hollow. “You’re good, Bells.” Gesturing at the now black screen, I say, “movie’s over.”

Bella looks around, only just noticing that most of the crowd has packed up and loaded into their cars. She wipes at her eyes and stretches, a huge yawn escaping her. It’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

When she’s finally alert, we begin folding away the blankets together, tossing them into the backseat of the truck through the sliding window on the back cab. I quickly collect our trash and jog over to the nearest trashcan to throw it all away and by the time I return, Bella has packed the last few items into the truck and is waiting for me in the passenger seat.

I freeze when I notice the hoodie she’s wearing, those damn butterflies taking flight again. The name of my college is in bold letters across the front, and I hold back the smile that threatens to break free, not wanting to give her any reason to take it off. She looks fucking perfect in my clothing.

I shake my head, clearing my throat as I climb into the driver’s seat and start the engine, pulling out of the drive-in.

The drive home is quiet. Bella rests her head against the window the entire drive and for a moment I’m worried she’s fallen asleep again, but when we pull into the gravelroad leading to my family ranch, her head lifts and she straightens in her seat.

“I was worried I was going to have to wake you a second time tonight,” I joke, breaking the silence.

Bella casts a sleepy smile in my direction. “I’m sorry I fell asleep earlier. I’m exhausted.”

Pulling the truck next to my house, I put it in park and turn to her. “You should be sorry. I went to a lot of effort tonight. Am I really that boring?” I smirk.

She blinks at me for a second, her expression completely blank and I worry for a moment that she didn’t pick up on the teasing in my tone. Just as I’m about to open my mouth and explain that was a joke, she speaks. “Well, if my jerkwad of a roommate would stop waking me up at the crack of ass, I wouldn’t fall asleep on him.”

My head falls back, a booming laugh escaping me and it’s not long before Bella joins in, her laugh just as loud as mine.

“C’mon, babybell. Let’s get you to bed,” I say when we finally catch our breath. I unbuckle my seatbelt and jump out, rushing around to her side of the truck to get her door. She thanks me as she slides off the edge of the seat, her feet hitting the ground with a thud and I make a mental reminder to install a step to the truck.

We enter the house together, the pair of us kicking our shoes off in the entryway and Bella strips out of my hoodie, turning to hand it to me. I shake my head. “You can keep it.”

Her brows pinch. “What?”

“It looks better on you.”

She looks between me and the hoodie clutched in her fist. “Thank you. For this…” she licks her lips, drawing my attention downward, “and for tonight.”

I take a step closer, putting us in the exact position we were in the night she showed up on my porch, wet and distraught. Lifting a hand, I tuck her hair behind her ear. “You never have to thank me for doing the bare minimum, Bells.”

She blinks up at me under thick, dark lashes. “That wasn’t the bare minimum, Noah.”

My hand is still lingering beside her face, and I cup it, my thumb finding her chin as I tilt her head up. “Yes. It was.”

The silence that follows is loaded as her eyes flit back and forth between mine and my lips, and I wonder if she’s thinking about what it would be like to just lean in and kiss me. If she’s consumed with thoughts of it like I am. It would be so easy for either one of us to close the gap between us, say fuck it all and take what we want.

But then I remind myself that she’s fresh out of a two-year relationship and still dealing with the hurt of Justin’s betrayal. If I kissed her now, I’d be taking advantage of her.