Page 18 of Loving the Alien Spy

We continue breathing in each other’s air, neither of us closing that final hairbreadth between us.

“Why is he lucky?” Is that really my voice pitched so low?

“Because I would have become a murderer in truth. And I have no desire for any Bohnari to die. Not now, nor in the past.”

I blink as his words filter through my brain. “So you weren’t part of Mohneek’s plans to bomb the city and kill people?”

Bannik slowly swivels his head, causing his lips to brush back and forth over mine. Wetness flows between my thighs.

“Never. I swear to you, I had no part in that.”

My brain tells me I shouldn’t believe anything he says, but other parts of me—parts that have been neglected for far too long—disagree. I’m sure I’ll regret this later, but I listen to those other parts and close the final distance between us.

I open my mouth against Bannik’s and taste him. It’s just like I remember and yet as if this is the first time we’ve kissed. I never want it to end. He takes advantage of my weakness and deepens our connection, his tongue expertly tangling with mine. My breasts ache, and the pulsating need in my center throbs hard and fast.

I’m desperate for Bannik’s touch. Not just his kisses, but everything. I want to feel his hands on me. My breasts. My pussy. A quiet voice in the back of my head is telling me what a bad idea this is, but I tune it out. Instead, I focus on the swarm of sensations that are nearly overwhelming, but in a good way.

The kiss goes on, all while my belly swirls and dips and the butterflies flutter around. Bannik’s scent is intoxicating and ratchets up my arousal another notch. Heat pours from him, warming me all the way to my toes. I could go up in flames and still not want him to stop.

My focus has narrowed only to the two of us. The outside world doesn’t exist, and I want to keep it that way for a while. Except it’s too big an ask, because a loud commotion from close by shatters the bubble I’d placed us in.

Bannik jerks away, and his hand goes to his hip, bare of any weapon. He curses and glances around. I do the same. The next block over, several Bohnari and another alien are picking up a pile of debris that’s fallen off a hover cart.

Bannik finally turns to me, and my breath catches. How did I never notice before how beautiful he is? He opens his mouth, and maybe I’ll never know what he was going to say because I rush out, “You better not apologize again.”

“I am not the least bit sorry.” His answering smile makes my pulse race.

I can’t help but return it. “Me either.” Although I probably should be. I need to guard my heart from any emotional whiplash.

Bannik turns serious once more. “What is next?”

I wrinkle my forehead. “What do you mean?”

He runs his hand through his hair, and I’m starting to recognize it as his tell for when he’s unsure of himself or the situation.

“You are my heart’s fire, but there is still a distance between us. Which I understand. But…” He hesitates. “Is that what you wish for? I am not certain a single kiss—no matter how incredible—has changed your opinion of me.”

I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought it was a great kiss. He’s right, though, that it’s not necessarily enough to change how I feel. Except I’m so confused about how I feel exactly. A battle rages inside me, and I hate it.

“As amazing as the kiss was”—I can admit that much, at least—“it alone doesn’t change things. But I really want to believe you when you say you had nothing directly to do with all the deaths that occurred.”

If he was deceived in the same way Janik was, then surely I can forgive Bannik for being just as misguided, can’t I? He narrows the space between us once more and palms both sides of my face. His stare bores into me.

“I swear to our gods that I did not intend or wish for the death of any Bohnari. Neither Mohneek nor Orvak could have ever convinced me to murder my people.”

I scan Bannik’s face—gauging his sincerity—and pray I’m not making a mistake. “I believe you.”

His relief is evident, and he rests his forehead against mine. I close my eyes and absorb his touch while breathing in his clean, soapy scent.

“You have no idea what it means to me to hear you say that.” Bannik exhales. “That still leaves the question of what is next?”

“I don’t know.” Up until now, I’d been convinced he was responsible for so many deaths. But if I said I believe him, then I need to truly believe him. “I suppose we spend some time getting to know each other. I mean, there’s obviously attraction, but that can’t be the only thing.”

My face has to be bright red because my cheeks feel like they’re on fire. Which is ridiculous. I should have no reason to be uncomfortable talking about this sort of thing. Except I’m new at it.

“Get to know each other,” Bannik says slowly and even maybe a little guarded.

Maybe I’ve read this whole situation wrong. It was only a few days ago when he said kissing me was a mistake.