Page 60 of Flowers To Give
Jeremy shrugs, “All in a day’s work.”
“Speaking of work,” Clark looks over to him, asking, “What are you going to do about Barry?”
Jeremy shrugs, simply stating the truth, “I like him.”
“Don’t fuck with me, Jeremy,” Clark leans in again.
Neck burning red, Jeremy deflects by looking away and spouting, “I don’t have any answers for you right now.”
“Then tell me the truth about something you do know,” Clark smokes on his cigarette before continuing, “What was that Rezai was saying about an old crush?”
Biting down hard on his bottom lip, Jeremy’s eyes are trained to the ground. He feels a little naked without his cowboy hat on to shade his expression, trying to keep a poker face. Thinking up a lie or an excuse feels like such a burden in this moment. Jeremy’s shoulders relax as he shares the truth, “It’s you. I had a crush on you back in the day.”
“When?” Clark’s voice lilts up, rolling out the ember of his cigarette and pocketing the butt, “When exactly?”
Jeremy’s eyes lift a bit, answering, “High school. And middle school. And, I don’t know, forever.”
Clark holds his breath as he asks, “And now?”
Closing his eyes briefly, he opens them and looks over to Clark. His face is so tortured, yearning for Jeremy’s answer. He decides it’s reasonable to be transparent, nodding gently as he says, “Yes, even now.”
“Then why?” Clark grabs onto Jeremy’s bicep, bringing him closer, “Why reject me back in Oahu? Why can’t we be together now?”
“Because,” Jeremy’s brow pinches as his eyes brim with moisture, choking out, “You hurt me so much before. And at the party… Don’t you get it? I don’t want to feel this way.”
Jeremy stands up, taking a step away and needing the space to think clearly before he does something stupid like burst intotears. Clark stands up too, reaching out for him and saying, “It’s different now, though. I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“I just don’t know if I can trust you,” Jeremy puts out his cigarette, refusing to look at Clark again. He’s weak now, feeling tender in the aftermath of his confession.
“What can I do to convince you that I’m serious?” Clark steps closer, urging, “I want you to understand that there’s nobody for me but you. It’s always been that way. I was just too stupid to not see it before.”
“I don’t know. I need- I need time,” Jeremy finally turns back to Clark, looking him dead in the eye and saying, “Give me time to think.”
Clark looks at each one of Jeremy’s eyes individually, searching them deeply. He inhales slowly and exhales as calmly as he can, “Take as much time as you need. You know why? Cuz I’ll always be waiting for you.”
Jeremy loses his breath, struggles to get it back, like he’s been punched in the gut.
CHAPTER NINE
“GO ON NOW!” Jeremy yells to Asher as the chute’s gate opens and he bursts through.
The calf Steve let loose in the arena is only a yard ahead of Jeremy storming forward, lasso above his head. He swings and loops the calf down to the ground. Hopping off Asher, he wrangles the calf to its back and wraps its legs in half a second. He raises his hands in the air and turns to the ranch hands and Yana.
“Ow! Now that’s how you get it done,” Jose claps, whistling with his teeth.
Jeremy carries the calf back over to the ranch hands and hands it off, saying, “Again.”
“C’mon man, ain’t gonna get much better,” Jackie spits on the ground, showing him the stopwatch.
“She’s not wrong, Munday,” Yana leans forward on the post, “And you’ve got Asher beat. Give her a break.”
“Psst,” Steve gets their attention, chin tilting up toward the barn doors, “Your boyfriend’s here.”
Jeremy looks behind him and Barry is approaching. Yana clears her throat and says, “Alright, I think that’s our cue.”
“What? You guys don’t want to air out your dirty laundry again?” Jose rolls his eyes as he hops over the gate and heads to the exit.
“Good luck,” Yana says in Jeremy’s ear, patting him on the shoulder. She touches Barry’s hand as she passes him, but the ranch hand’s eyes are set on Jeremy.
