Page 38 of The Quoram Effect

He stood with his back to me, one hand in his pocket, the other twitching, proving his anxiety. His broad shoulders were slightly hunched as he stared ahead towards that very weeping willow.

I looked over my shoulder at Saul again, my expression gently pleading. “Can you give us a moment?”

Saul raised his eyebrows in surprise, but as if he suddenly understood, he nodded. “I’ll go…look at the flowers.”

I thanked him as he walked away, then blew out a reluctant breath.

A jumble of emotions, fronted by fear, longing, and helplessness, grew stronger as I approached Torz. Hesitancy slowed my steps as I neared, concerned about how he’d react when I appeared. He’d left me at the auditorium. Maybe he wanted to be alone. But the thought didn’t deter me. As I came within two paces of him, I reached for his hand, gently brushing my fingertips over his palm.

“Torz,” I softly pressed, relieved he didn’t flinch or pull away. Instead, his fingers closed around mine, his eyelids shutting as his nose flared with a heavy intake of breath. “Torz, are you okay? I know…I know that demonstration was shocking, but—”

“She’s toying with me,” he whispered, reopening his eyes and returning his gaze to the willow across the slim stretch of lake. “It’s bad enough that she’s manipulating the pitiful Puran Human Rights Act…that she intends to kill them all. But this…” He shook his head. “This is personal.”

Consumed by a new sense of worry, I rested my free hand on his forearm and squeezed reassuringly. “How so?”

“That woman…the one she murdered in front of everyone…” He cursed, throwing his head back and scrutinising the glass roof.

“Torz, who was she?” With my hand still clasped around his arm, I wasn’t sure if I was concerned he’d flee again or simply pull away, but I needed to ground him. Allow him time to shed whatever was eating away at him.

As if he heard my actual thoughts, his eyes lowered to my hand, pensively lingering there for a tangible moment. He then swallowed thickly and said, “She was one of the people arrested in relation to my father’s death.”

His sorrowful eyes met mine, the tips of his eyebrows nearly touching from despair, and I was no longer looking at my commander. I was looking at the fourteen-year-old boy I’d found cowering in the academy cupboard, too scared and humiliated to leave. I remembered how he tried to deny the reason why he didn’t want to go home, but when I’d coerced him out, discovering the bruises across his cheek and under his eye, I knew his father had lashed out at him. Again.

Full of confusion, I frowned. Torz had resented his father. But why would that woman’s death trigger such dread within him? “I’m not following, Torz.”

My heart dropped when a tear bud formed, threatening to shed. He clenched his eyelids together, sucking it back.

“By using her in that demonstration,” he whispered. “That’s Zuli’s promise…if I don’t do as she demands, my…my mother will be next.”

I frowned. “No. Torz, no, your mother died. Years ago.” She’d died a few months after his father had. To lose both parents in quick succession had been tough for Torz, but especially his mother. He’d adored her. She was an astro-scientist, and Iwas informed an experiment had gone fatally wrong. Though—I pondered—Torz never spoke of it.

“I was told to say that.” Pushing his free hand into his hair, he released an exasperated breath. “My father found out about her illegal supply runs with the Purans. He gave her seven days to surrender the rebellion leaders’ identities. When she refused, he promised to turn her in. His own wife.” A snarl rippled across his mouth, the tension in his fingers becoming so rigid my palm slipped from his, and he pulled away. “My father died a week after that. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but…three months later, my mother was arrested. Turned out she conspired to kill him. And that woman who they murdered today…she was the one who did the deed.

“Back then, I was still a captain under Chief Kalu. Thankfully, he swept the situation under the rug and announced her death by lab accident. She’s been in Pura prison ever since. I haven’t been able to speak to or see her since the day she was arrested.”

A silence fell between us, one so thick I could’ve sliced it with one of my daggers.

I’d always known he risked his military status to fulfil the legacy his mum had built with the Purans, but with his mum still alive, how much of that was driven by anger? By revenge?

But the only thing I could say was, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He angled his body away, his gaze resting on the willow tree across the strip of tranquil water before us. Quietly, and with hesitancy, he responded, “You’re my friend, Rems. And with the connection we have, I just…sometimes I need to keep things to myself. To keepusseparated.”

A shard of disappointment stabbed at my chest, reminding me of the reason we’d rejected the bond. We were friends. That’s all we ever would be.

“You don’t understand.” Torz’s words startled me.

“I do. Of course, I do.”

“Then why are you hurting?”

“What?”

Still not meeting my eye, he stated, “I can feel you’re hurting.”

I stared at his profile, at his furrowed brow and taut jaw. For some reason, our bond was ridiculously strong, more so than usual. But regardless of how attuned we were to each other’s emotions, how could I tell him my internal pain was caused by my desperation to love him, whilst trying to suppress the disappointment of only been seen by him as a friend, a colleague?

“I know you hate the bond,” he mumbled, startling me again.