Page 29 of The Quoram Effect

After hours of absentmindedly watching Titus-renowned movies and eating an abundant number of snacks from the suite’s mini fridge, I reluctantly opened my comms. A message lay there from Torz:

How was it possible to feel both irritation and love for someone at the same time?

I huffed despondently. I wasn’t hungry, but I was mildly aware of how sweaty my palms had become, how tight my chest was. It was no wonder irrational indignation gnarled at me—the Q comedown was starting.

Poising myself, I shook away the pull to the dark side. I would not succumb to the temptation.Fight this,I willed myself. To prove I was the same woman who conquered the addiction all those years ago. I would not fall back into the tempting purple deceit of hell. Right now, I’d extinguish the whole damn shadow-world for Torz. I owed him that. Gods, I owed him everything.

But as time ticked by, the harder it was to resist. The urge to walk out that door and find a Q supplier overwhelmed me. My head screamed for the numbness. My body craved the sensualstimulation. But I remained planted on the sofa, focusing on the trashy love stories and gruesome thrillers playing before my eyes.

I locked my arms around my trembling torso, shivering through the cold sweats and rising nausea, all the while analysing the vintage actors and actresses with their bizarre hairstyles and outfits.

I refuse to succumb. I will not give in…

* * *

I tried.

I tried fighting the savage animal stirring within me—the creature, the monster left in the wake of Q. It thrashed and clawed at me, ensnaring all my logic to fight back. Amongst the bolts of fire it plunged into my body—scorning me, punishing me—I recalled why I had always succumbed to seeking out more Q. It was the difference between light and dark. Numbness versus pain. Euphoria versus agony.

The call to the seductive light was unbearable. Purple fog pulsed in my vision as my eyes locked on the suite door, focused purely on escaping and finding salvation from the torture tearing my body apart.

I tumbled off the sofa, gritting my teeth as tears stung beneath my clenched eyelids. My human mind screamed for me to stop, but the monster within forced me to crawl forward, desperate to reach the exit of my hotel prison.

My arms shook, my knees trembled, my heart hammered inside my chest like an enraged animal. Memories and thoughts flitted through my mind, provoked by its relentless inferno of chaos. Torz’s frowning face shot to the forefront, and a swell of love flattened the beast driving my uncontrollable body forward. His words from earlier today echoed around my muffled head:

“For months, I helped you survive that shit…because I care!”

He’d cared enough five years ago. I’d always thought he’d intervened because he was my commander. Because he never wanted a druggy on his team. But he cared…for me, and I hadn’t thanked him enough for prying the addiction from me all those years ago, tearing it away. Starving it. But once again, I was fighting this battle…and I feared I was losing.

I need you, Torz.

With an animalistic growl, I resisted the torturous pull and flung myself backward, landing flat on the thick carpet. I reached for my comms perched on the coffee table, my hands fumbling as I clutched the small square piece of plastic and aluminium as if it was my lifeline. The screen blurred in and out of focus as I attempted to type with shaky, sweaty fingers, but as if someone knocked the device from my grasp, it tumbled to the floor, disappearing under the sofa.

Like a slap to the face, my darkened mind hauled me away, dragging me back towards the damn door. I screamed, fighting myself as pointed claws hissed down my spine, shuddering the breath from my lungs.

I can’t do this. I can’t do this.

The monster inside my mind whispered,“Give in. You know you’ll feel better.”

I shook my head, balling my fists.Leave me alone!

“The numbness is your friend. It protects you—”

Go away. Go away.

“Just one more shot.”

“Torz,” I sobbed, nails clawing the carpet with fierce retaliation. The burn of the thick, woollen threads was so raw I could’ve sworn my fingers bled.

But it was pointless fighting back. As if they had a will of their own, my knees pushed forward, and another cry expelled frommy throat. I yanked at my hair, clawed at my scalp, well aware the door was drawing closer.

Petrified I wouldn’t be able to resist much longer, I lifted my fogged vision towards the looming exit. A new tsunami of panic ripped the breath from my lungs as I took in the pair of black shoes standing between me and the suite entrance. So shiny, I thought I was imagining them.

“He’s not coming, Remi.”

I recognised the suave tone, but adding another despairing twist to this nightmare, today it was void of the usual mirth. Lifting my gaze higher, blinking back the blur of tears, I met the Damson God’s shrewd stare. The displeasure flickering within those violet irises was the same I’d seen in Torz’s this morning—pure disgusted disappointment.

“I need him,” I muttered, the unsettling slashes of desperation coating my insides with the feverish fires of hell.