Page 3 of Wrong Number, Right Grumpy Lumberjack

Wrong Number Guy has range

Wrong Number Guy. I've been called worse. Caleb calls me Wal, which I tolerate. Holly Pearce calls me sweetheart when she drops off pie every Tuesday, which I endure. Patty Cole calls me that poor man whenever she thinks I can't hear her at the general store.

Nobody calls me anything that makes me want to text back.

Me:

For the record. The underwear text was impressive.

Unknown Number:

STOP

I will literally combust

I was texting my boyfriend

Who I am now going to murder for giving me the wrong number

Or wait. No. I probably just typed it wrong.

Because I am a DISASTER

Me:

You teach kindergarten. That takes organizational skills.

Unknown Number:

You'd think so wouldn't you

And yet here I am

Sexting a lumberjack at dawn

I look down at my sawdust covered jeans. My steel toed boots. The flannel with the torn pocket I keep meaning to fix.

Me:

What makes you think I'm a lumberjack?

Unknown Number:

You answered a text at 6:47 AM on a Tuesday. You're either a lumberjack, a farmer, or a serial killer.

And serial killers don't say "for the record"

That's very lumberjack

Me:

I'm a sawyer. Custom mill work. Close enough.

Unknown Number:

OH MY GOD

I accidentally sexted a LITERAL LUMBERJACK