Page 69 of Shades of Grey & Gold

That kiss that I’d like to play on repeat tonight in my dreams. And tomorrow in real life, too.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Max

I’vebeenatCal’sfor two weeks.

And what a two weeks it has been.

The penthouse, which is bigger than all the apartments I have ever been inside in my life combined, is my new favorite place—especially looking out over the river on the balcony. It feels like the best vacation fromreality.

And I will continue to ignore the elephant in the room. There may even be multiple elephants. A whole zoo. Between the mafia thing and when I actually do need to get back to real life, I just keep begging for reality to stay away. At least for a little while longer.

After the first week, Cal had Gio get my cell phone for me. It was nice being disconnected from the world, but Becca was, reasonably, freaking out.

After two long video calls and Cal’s agreement to allow me to share my location with her, she was satisfied with my safety.

Between the two of them, I feel like someone has secured me in bubble wrap and set me gently on a shelf. Luckily for me, that shelf is a multimillion dollar penthouse in Providence.

My fuzzy blue socks slip slightly as I grip the white marble counter in the kitchen, careful not to spill my steaming mug of tea as I walk back to my designated area to do nothing the rest of the day.

I’ve been doing some work for Ellison & Parker while I’m here, working from the living room and reading when there’s nothing else to do. And having nothing else to do has only made me feel a bit anxious. Because as soon as I start to get bored, Cal reminds me what it feels like to be the center of someone’s world.

He kissed my forehead this morning before the sun was up to go handle things. Handle what? I didn’t ask. I thought about asking. I may have even opened my mouth to ask. Then I thought better of it.

I’ve decided the only way to wrap my head around the current situation—that is, Cal is a mob boss—is to ignore it; pretend it doesn’t exist and therefore, is not a concern of mine.

I sit in the oversized, grey fluffy chair and pull my legs underneath me, knocking the half-read book off the arm as I do. It slams on the marble tile and I jump.

Adrenaline sprints through my veins briefly as I huff a breath.

Okay. Ignoring it isn’t helping. I might be on edge.

Every time we leave and come back, Gio and/or Rudi insist on clearing the penthouse before we come up. No one has said why this is, just that it’s the routine I have accepted.

I sit back and stare up at the high ceilings, thinking about my time here.

Cal’s family is wonderful. His mom is kind and has invited us for family dinner ever so many times since we’ve arrived in town. Yet, Cal has only taken me over there a few times. I think he may not like sharing me with anyone else.

Nico is hilarious, he reminds me so much of Cal… if Cal was all fun and laughs without the serious side. His sisters are clearly the rebels of the family, even elaborating on how they skirt their security details and go out to get ice cream late at night when Nico and Cal walked away from us. Cal told me later on that he overheard the whole conversation and he’s glad they still think they are getting away with that, even after doing it for so many years.

He keeps them safe. All of them. And me.

Being with Cal has felt like where I should have been years ago. It’s the trajectory my life could have taken if it wasn’t for Patrick.

He treats me better than I could imagine, like all those book boyfriends—the ones who can’t possibly be real. Opening doors, showering me with gifts, but it’s even more than that. He listens to every word I say, encouraging me, and reminding me what it feels like to dream. He hears the things I don’t say too. Like anticipating things I need.

Two nights ago when I couldn’t sleep he came out to the living room asking what I was doing staring at the ceiling at one in the morning. I said I wasn’t sure.

He promptly bent over in front of me and told me to get on his back. I laughed for the whole thirty seconds it took for him to give me a piggy-back ride to his bed. He set me down, tucked me into the side furthest from the door, peppered me with kisses and cuddled up behind me.

I don’t think I’ve ever slept as good as I did that night. Except for last night. And probably tonight, too.

But then… there’s the elephant.

The mob. The Mafia.The godfather-ness of it all.

I throw my empty arm over my eyes with another huff.