Page 137 of Shades of Grey & Gold

The waiter’s face brightens and he chuckles with an agreeable nod, but Nico doesn’t wait for a response. He tucks my hand into the crook of his arm and for the first time, I notice his ring.

Click. Click.

It’s gold, with a horn carved into the side with filigree lines encircling his finger. It’s the same as the one his brother wore.

Click. Click. Click.

We make it to the valet stand.

I hold it together.

The car pulls up and Nico tips the young valet, grabbing the door handle before the kid can and staring at him until he walks off.

Nico opens the passenger side door, my hand slipping from his arm. I grab the door and place my other hand on the leather of the passenger seat.

I stand in silence, the clicks in my chest come faster, louder, the jack that’s in the box getting closer and closer to—

A sob crawls up my throat, but Iswallow it.

“Nic—” I start, but the word won’t come out.

“I’ve got you, Maxie.”

His hands come under my arms, and he lifts me gently into the seat. I feel something wet on my hands and realize tears are streaming down my face. My hands feel numb as they sit in my lap.

Nico reaches around me, fastening my seatbelt and I can feel his stare.

One beat. Two. He steps back and watches me unravel.

I hear a ragged breath leave him, like he might unravel, too, before he turns and shuts the door.

When he gets in, I don’t look at him. And he doesn’t say anything.

But he doesn’t drive either.

The pressure builds in my chest and the sobs become audible.

“It should be him here with you tonight.”

His voice is angry.

I tilt my head toward him, but my tears blur and it’s dark in the car. I can’t see his face, but I hear him hit the steering wheel.

“Even at something as stupid as this dumb fucking wedding. He shouldn’t have put you through this.”

Like if he could change it he would.

Like if his brother could be here, he would.

But Nico couldn’t make the decision. He was in the alley with me. He couldn’t save his brother.

His brother… who ran into that restaurant to save me.

Suddenly it’s not just overwhelming grief—it’s guilt, too.

My whole body is shaking. But I feel the car start moving.

I stare forward and focus on the time as it passes. After forty-five minutes, the tears have dried up, the sobs slowed.