Page 121 of Shades of Grey & Gold

No appeal.

My brain tries to swim through the water surrounding me.

Days ago, the worst thing in my life was whether my Con Law course’s outline had enough cases in it.

Spring break is next week.

Cal told me to pack nothing.

He was going to lock me in our bedroom and order takeout and turn off the world, and I told him that sounded like kidnapping, and he joked it was—

My thoughts stutter.

Kidnapping.

The house is full of people when we get there and somehow empty, too.

They strip the cold of the alley off me with a blanket, but the grease on my clothes refuses to be ignored.

I sit cross-legged in front of the hearth because it’s the only heat that doesn’t make me nauseous.

A real fire, not the safe, electric flicker of my office fireplace. The flames crackle and pop and one of the pops is a little sharper, and I flinch so hard my teeth clack.

The room does a small tilt, then rights itself.

Voices, soft, behind me.

The sisters.

Their whispers sound like prayer beads—small, clicking kindness.

“She jumped.”

“Nico.”

“She’s not… she’s—”

“Catatonic,” someone decides, gentle and wrong.

I hear everything. I register everything.

I decide to blink because blinking is a thing I can choose. I blink and the fire is still there.

Andhe’snot.

Nico crouches into my space like you would with a startled animal. He doesn’t touch me. He has a streak of black on his cheekbone and my eyes focus on it. He notices my stare, wipes at his face, and instead of wiping it away, red from his palm streaks next to the black.

“Max.” He waits until I look at him, dazed.

He has Renzetti eyes in different weather, more stormy, grey at the edges mixing in with green and gold. “We’re going to move you, okay? You—we can’t stay here.”

“I won’t go to the penthouse.” My voice works. It sounds ripped at the seams, but it works.

It surprises both of us.

“I know,” he responds immediately, like he already hates himself for even thinking it. “Good. Not the penthouse. A hotel. The best. We’ll take the whole floor. No one in, no one out. Doors blocked. You tell us where you want people to stand and they stand there.”

“I want to be alone.”