Page 71 of The Lyon's Pretty Pugilist

Stop rambling and get to the point,she berated herself.

“Lydia ambushed me,” she spat out quickly. “I’d just taken a bite of cake when she said, ‘I know you are not who you say you are. God is my witness, I will find out who you really are.’

“Since I had cake in my mouth, I couldn’t tell her to bugger off. So, I just kept chewing, and then she said, ‘I know you fancy Nicolas. I saw it in your eyes. But he is mine. We are to marry.’”

“I am not going to marry her,” Nicolas said. “I won’t be blackmailed and bullied into this union, especially under false pretenses. She is only interested because of some absurd rumor I’ve come into wealth. When the exact opposite is true.”

Hopefully, Nicolas would not change his opinion after he heard the rest of the story.

“So, this time, I swallowed my cake and said, ‘Bugger off.’ I almost saidbugger off, cow. But since I was trying to be proper, I left off the cow part. And you won’t believe what she did.”

Nicolas rubbed his temple. “You had better tell me.”

“She tried to slap me, she did.”

Nicolas moaned. “How severe are her injuries?”

“You think I punched her? I wanted to, but I did not,” Josie said indignantly.

“Because you were trying to be proper,” he said.

“Exactly. But I wasn’t going to let her slap me, so I knocked her hand away.”

“Understandable. I suppose that isn’t so terrible. I wouldn’t worry over much.”

Apparently, Nicolas had forgotten icing and tea were involved—unless he was simply in denial.

“I’m not done with the story,” Josie said. “I glared at Lydia and told her, ‘You abandoned Nicolas when he needed you. You are quite cruel.’”

“Thank you for standing up for me,” Nicolas said.

“She doesn’t deserve you.” Josie meant this with her entire heart. “Lydia continued to escalate the situation. ‘How dare you,’ she said. Then she wound up like she meant to punch me. Except, she doesn’t know how to punch properly, so she hurt herself.”

Nicolas stared at her with owlishly wide eyes.

“I caught her fist before it hit my shoulder. She screamed in pain because she has a wrist like a dead eel. Also, she didn’t have a strong base, so she crashed into the table. Well, you can imagine what happened next. She screamed, and then there was a loud crash. Tea and broken china were everywhere. There was icing in her hair and on her dress, and a squished pink flower in the center of her nose.” Josie’slip vibrated with her exasperated sigh. “What a waste of delicious cakes.”

To her surprise, Nicolas chortled. Since he seemed undaunted, she continued with her tale.

“Then Lydia screeched like a banshee, ‘Did you see what Josephine just did? She punched me.’ Friggin’ lying cow.”

Nicolas’s shoulders shook with his mirth.

“And then, Lady Hillcaster collapsed onto the settee and put her forearm over her face. She kept saying, ‘Oh, my heavens, what is the world coming to?’ Poor Agatha had to hold the vinaigrette under the marchioness’s nose, which was not easy to do with all of the marchioness’s hand fluttering and wailing.”

Nicolas began laughing so hard that tears dripped from his eyes.

“I heard what Lydia mumbled under her breath. She said, and I quote, ‘No man is worth this humiliation, especially not him.’”

Seeming unperturbed by Lydia’s comment, Nicolas continued chuckling.

“Thehimmust be you,” Josie explained in case Nicolas had not heard her over his deep chortles.

“I am certain she was referencing me,” Nicolas said. “Because she does not love me. She never has.”

Any woman who didn’t love Nicolas was a fool. “Luckily, Lady Simmons saw the entire thing. She told Lady Hillcaster to stop being a dramatic goose. Then, she walked right over to us and said, ‘Miss Small, first you tried to slap Miss Martin, and then you tried to punch her. She simply defended herself. Now, go clean yourself up. You are a mess.’”

Nicolas smacked his thighs with delight.