Page 21 of The Lyon's Pretty Pugilist

“Which brings us to our next lesson,” the viscountess said. “Even the smallest hint of vulgarity is forbidden, and I dare say, some of your vocabulary is quite vulgar.”

Josie smirked. “What words are those, Cousin Agatha?”

Was the disagreeable urchin trying to get Lady Davenport to mutter unseemly things?

Lady Davenport’s lips puckered. Seeming to think better of saying anything, she clamped them together.

Something was seriously wrong with him. Normally, Nicolas did not favor unseemly speech in the company of ladies, but he found this conversation quite entertaining. He sipped his coffee, waiting to hear this list of vulgar vocabulary.

“You meanbollocks?” Although Josie’s tone was serious, the twinkling in her eyes gave away her devilish intent. She tilted her body forward as if she was trying to lean closer to the viscountess, her backboard keeping her at an awkward angle. “Bloody hell? Shite? Arse? Friggin?”

Lady Davenport scowled. “Yes. Those words. You can’t say them in polite company.”

“But then how am I supposed to express meself?” Josie asked. “Oh, that’s right. How could I forget? I don’t have opinions.”

“‘Meself’ needs to be eliminated from your speech,” Lady Davenport said. “The correct word ismyself. You also can’t sayain’toryer. The words arenotandyour.”

“I think I understand,” Josie said. “‘Me bloody topper ain’t on me bloody head cause I got meself dressed all by meself, I did,’ should be—” Josie held up her pinky and, in a feigned almost sophisticated voice, declared, “‘My bonnet is not on my head because I dressed myself’?”

“Well done,” Davenport said.

“Of course, I won’t be able to find me own head ’cause a real lady can’t even wipe her own arse. The reason why she requires all them lady’s maids attending to her every need.” Josie exhaled a sigh filled with disgust. “You toffs oughtta just wrap a gag around me mouth. Oh, excuse me, I mean, ‘you charming aristocrats might as well wrap a gag aroundmymouth’.”

But if she was wearing a gag, Nicolas couldn’t kiss those plump, feminine lips.

Damnations, perhaps his morning activities had not rid him of his lecherous needs.

“Let us retire to the drawing room to practice polite conversations on appropriate topics—using proper English,” Lady Davenport said.

Josie wrinkled her nose.

Lady Davenport picked up her coffee. “After our midday meal, we shall have our first dancing lesson.”

“I know how to dance.” Josie smiled. “I can dance ye bloody toffs under the bloody table, I can.”

Lady Davenport’s knuckles grew white as she grasped her cup so tightly that Nicolas feared it might crack in her hand.

He could not help but grin because it seemed he was not alone. Jabbing Josie had also unsettled the imperturbable Lady Agatha Davenport.

Chapter Nine

Why in thedevil was Josie being so rude when the Dowager Countess Davenport was the perfect hostess, and Viscount Jonathon Davenport was utterly charming and exceedingly funny? Did her defensiveness stem from feelingless thanaround a handsome gentleman who befuddled her?

Was it possible that she was developing feelings for Nicolas Wentworth? Well, of course, she had feelings for him. Annoyance, frustration, and fury were valid feelings. But—did she also harbor affection for him?

Whatever the case, abashed by her atrocious behavior, Josie did her best to clean up her language during their late morning lesson. It took all of her concentration to eliminate the list of banned words from her speech. Hiding her sarcastic attitude proved even more difficult.

She worked hard, even carrying the new, improved Josephine into their afternoon meal—which was quite delicious, although not nearly filling enough. She spent the afternoon talking about the weather and her favorite flowers. But after hours of nattering on about sunshine and roses, her ability to converse dried up. She could talk forever ifpermitted to discuss pugilism, the gymnasium she wanted to open, and her opinions. Alas, take those topics from her, and she had the personality of a dead slug.

After the midday meal, they returned to the drawing room. The footmen moved all the furniture to the side, giving the four of them plenty of space to dance.

“Today, we shall prepare for the ball,” Agatha said. “You will be expected to converse politely, so please keep in mind everything we practiced this morning.”

Well, that sucked cow bollocks since Josie had just discovered she had little knowledge about the things thetonconsidered appropriate conversational topics. Nevertheless, since she was exhibiting decorum, she didn’t say this out loud.

“Young ladies must avoid reporting gossip or scandal,” Agatha said. “Never speak ill of others. Avoid disagreeable subjects such as religion. Do not interrupt others, and above all listen more than you speak.”

Bollocks! How was Josie to remember all of that?