Page 177 of On His Mind

Benson rolls his eyes and goes back to his laptop.

“Percy.” Stanley swings to me. “You know what a shutout does to a fourteen-ranking?”

“Moves it,” I say.

“Moves it.” He throws his hands up like I’ve said something profound. “The goalie gets it. The quiet one gets it. Pers, you need to practice.”

“Fuck off, Ermington.”

Gianna laughs as she walks out. She pats Stanley on the shoulder and says, “Focus on yourself.”

“I’m in my prime,” Stanley scoffs.

Benson shakes his head. “You’re a pain in the ass is what you are.”

Everyone in the house laughs.

Final exams are always brutal. A lot of the questions don’t match what I study, but I anticipated that and don’t only study the study guides. I end the year with all A’s, and on my last exam of the year, I’m anxious to see Penelope. She said the girls are setting up Hawthorne to surprise us. It’s Thursday, and practice killed me this morning, but it’s been nice that the team is helping me with my weaknesses in the net. They’re serious about the Frozen Four, and the only way there is to keep winning and climb the rankings before March.

When I think about being a goaltender, and all I have to do, all that’s required of me, I know that if I get better and faster, I can prevent the pucks from getting in. We have a better chance at winning if I’m good. Stanley has always talked me up since the moment I met him. I remember one time they let Hutch play, and he argued with Fuller for five minutes about putting me at the net. Fuller told him he can’t make that call, but I’ll never forget the amount of belief he’s put in me. He told me that I’m better than the other goalies he’s played with, and that’s something coming from the guy named after the Stanley Cup. He’s a fucking hockey prodigy.

I think my biggest advantage is that sometime this year, the puck flying at me stopped being a river stone. I don’t know when that happened. I didn’t notice it happen, and that’s the part that gets me, because I notice everything — I’ve spent my whole life watching the door. But that left without me catching it leave.

Maybe I’m growing up.

Or maybe it’s her.

My girlfriend.

Chapter 55

Penelope

Thegirlscometoour apartment on Friday night to watch the away game because it’s out of state and none of us are driving that far when they have a home game tomorrow.

They arrive in waves — Gianna first with a bag of snacks, then Lucy, Mila, then Aspen and Mara together, and Melly’s already home, so by seven the living room’s full and the stream’s up on the TV and somebody’s opened wine. The whole room has the loose, relieved feeling of people who finished exams and can finally breathe.

A year ago, I had a hundred excuses to avoid sitting here with them. It was so hard to pretend not to know Percy, to pretend I didn’t love him with every ounce of me, knowing that I was going to sneak into his room later. And this year, I don’t have to makeexcuses. I’m in my own apartment, watching the man I love on the screen, and I’m not hiding anymore. It feels great.

Gianna and Lucy sit beside me. Aspen is to my right, and then Melly, Mila, and Mara. I’m watching the screen, waiting for the camera to pan to the net, but it’s barely happening.

The girls are eating chips and crackers. I have my glass of wine in my hand. The same wine glasses that Gianna bedazzled for me and Percy.

The camera finally shows Percy, and he blocks the puck. Gianna jumps to her feet.

“Hell yeah, Pers!” Her fist goes up, and then the puck is flying across the rink again. “Come on, Stan!” She’s yelling at the screen now.

Aspen nudges me, laughing. Lucy smiles to herself while she eats another chip.

I miss what happens next because Gianna is blocking the screen, but she yells at Rowan next and throws her hands up.

“Come on, Rowan!” She huffs and drops back down next to me. “He’s got to be sharper than that if he wants a shot at going pro.”

Aspen tips her wine at the screen. “A lot has to line up to go pro. He’s good, though.”

“He’s good,” Gianna agrees, and then she’s back on her feet yelling at a call nobody else caught.

Aspen catches my eye, and we smile at each other. I settle back into the couch and let the noise of them close over me.