Page 143 of On His Mind

I pull two cups from the stack, one for me and one for Mara, as he tips the last of the batch into the dispenser. He nods at our cups, an offer, and Mara pushes hers across first.

“Yes, please,” she says, and he fills hers to the top.

I hold mine out. He pours it halfway and stops. I get half of what he gave her, and for a second, his eyes flick up to me and away, and there’s color high on his face.

I take a sip. I nod, like it’s just a drink, but it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted.

Percy’s flushed, so I turn away to give him cover — to Mara. “Did my roommate ever text you?”

“Textus, you mean.” Mara’s already got her phone out. “Group chat, remember. Oh. She says she’s heading over soon.”

“Okay.” I drink again. God, the mango. “This is really good,” I murmur, mostly to myself.

Mara shrugs. “You’ll get used to it. It’s been around three years. He makes one for Lucy too, allergy-safe. Hers is better, honestly.”

I smile down into my cup and take another sip. “I like mango.”

On my way out of the kitchen, I turn my head, and he’s watching me. His eyes touch mine and slide away, like he wasn’t looking at me at all. Mine do the exact same to him. It lasts half a second.

Then Mara announces Melly’s arrived, so I follow her toward the door, except Melly’s already halfway through it, so I stop at the threshold. Melly introduces me to her boyfriend and she has her best friend Mila with her, whom I met earlier.

Mara gets them drinks, and I pull out my phone.

Me:You’ve been making me that drink for three years?

I watch him across the loud house. I watch him feel the phone buzz and pull it out and read it. I watch his shoulders go still. He doesn’t look up right away.

And then he finally looks around the room. His eyes find mine, and for one single second neither of us bothers to pretend. He just looks at me, and I look back, and everything is in it —the drink, every party I never came to, the whole summer, the porch, the couch, the French — all of it held between us in a room full of people who have no idea.

I love him.

Then a hand claps down on his shoulder and someone pulls him back into the noise, and the moment is over, and we both look away.

He doesn’t text back for a long time.

Percy:Two years. It’s only the start of the third.

Percy:You finally came to a party.

Percy:Tonight?

I read that last word three times.Tonight.Even now. Even with the season and the roommate and everything he said in the dark about not being able to keep coming — still,tonight.He’d still show up. He’d carry me to bed one last time at half past midnight and slip back out before the sun came up, and we’d keep doing this until it broke one of us for good.

Me:I have a roommate now.

I watch him read it. I watch his face not change, because he’s so good at that. Then I watch him tuck the phone away into his pocket, and turn, and walk out the back door into the dark, and I stand at the front of his house full of our friends and pretend I’m part of the conversation that Mara and Gianna are having with Stanley.

Stanley mentions something about Benson breaking the house rules, so I look up to the whiteboard and sigh. I hold my drink near my mouth and take a long sip.

He’s just following the rules.

Chapter 48

Percy

“She’snotmygirl,”Blue says from the boards.

He’s been defensive about it since the party, and every time it comes out a little flatter, a little tighter, and I’ve watched him long enough to know something is going on with him. From my net, I can see the set of his jaw go hard.