Page 80 of Maybe Tomorrow

Anthony was pushed out of the way. He walked away, his head down, his feet dragging on the lino. Someone grabbed his chin and lifted his head up.

‘Ahh, poor baby. Are you missing Mummy?’ he asked when he saw the tears.

Anthony moved away. He’d learned the hard way not to answer back.

He shuffled into his room and threw himself down onto the bed. He hated it here and today seemed to be dragging on and on. He wanted the day to be over with. He wanted tomorrow to be over with. He just wanted to go home. Why wouldn’t they let him go back home?

The tears came once more and this time, they wouldn’t stop. He was audibly sobbing into his pillow. He was so loud he didn’t hear his cell door opening.

ChapterThirty-One

Wednesday 28th December 1983

Pauline and Leo left the house early to make the trip to HMP Starling House. It had been a cold Christmas, but no snow had fallen. A stiff wind had blown in off the coast and everyone went about their business dressed in layers, collars pulled up, scarves wrapped around them. Nobody stopped on the street to chat, unless it was about something important, like a murderer living on Crescent Avenue right under their noses.

Pauline usually enjoyed the Christmas break. She and Anthony, with Leo, would often go to the markets and round the shops. In the week between Christmas and New Year, they’d have many a long stroll on the isolated beach then pop into a nearby café for a hot chocolate to warm themselves up. They’d hit the sales and Pauline would treat herself to something and Anthony would get some new trousers or a jumper. If Pauline was feeling flush, they’d go somewhere nice for a meal. This year, there was none of that. Pauline hadn’t even left the house since Christmas Eve. She couldn’t stand the looks, the daggered stares, the tuts and, if someone was brave, the harsh words about her abilities as a mother and how she had raised a monster.

Any shopping she needed, Leo volunteered to endure the gossiping neighbours and buy the essentials such as bread and milk, but even he was lambasted for his association with the Winstanley family. He had a thicker skin than Pauline and ignored the hurtful words. Although, he sometimes gave as good as he got to the more high and mighty neighbours. He enjoyed putting people in their place.

The drive to the prison was conducted mostly in silence. There was nothing to say that hadn’t already been said, and there were no words Leo could come up with that would make Pauline feel any better about her only child being locked away in prison for a crime he hadn’t committed. He pointed out the odd irregularity on the journey– the rare sight of a Rolls Royce he’d love to own, an overloaded truck that was struggling to move under its weight, and a bull and a cow in a field doing what came naturally to bulls and cows. These comments were all met with snorts from Pauline. She wasn’t in the mood for a light-hearted conversation. Or indeed any conversation.

They parked close to the prison and queued outside with all the other visitors. When they were allowed in, they filed in silently and took their place in a waiting room. Nobody spoke. The atmosphere was depressing. Pauline remained impassive, but Leo looked around him and took in the elderly couple, the young woman, the middle-aged man, the mother and child. All different age groups and backgrounds, but all with the same expression on their faces– dejection.

One by one, people’s names were called out and they stood up and made their way into the visiting area. Pauline and Leo were the only two remaining when the prison officer turned on his heels and began to walk away.

‘Erm, excuse me,’ Pauline said, jumping up from her seat. ‘You didn’t call out my name.’

The man turned and looked her up and down then back to his clipboard. ‘Surname?’

‘Winstanley. I’m here to see my son, Anthony.’

‘No Winstanley on my list. Sorry.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘It means that he’s not down to receive visitors today,’ the man said, in a mocking tone.

‘But… I have a visiting order,’ Pauline began to rummage around in her handbag.

‘Sorry, only people on my list are allowed through.’ He didn’t sound sorry at all.

‘Look,’ Leo joined in. ‘There’s obviously been some kind of a mistake,’ he said with a polite smile. ‘I mean, these things happen all the time, don’t they? Can’t she just go in and see him? It’s not as if he’s going to be out shopping, is it?’ He gave a nervous laugh.

‘There’s no Winstanley on my list.’

‘But there should be,’ Pauline said, raising her voice.

Leo placed his hand on Pauline’s arm, a silent gesture for her to calm down. ‘Is there any way you could just check that there hasn’t been an error? We’ve driven more than eighty miles.’

The man sighed. He didn’t say anything. He turned and went through the door, closing it with a slam behind him.

‘What’s happened?’ Pauline asked, tears filling her eyes.

‘He’s going to check,’ Leo replied. His placating smile grew bigger.

‘Something’s happened.’

‘What are you talking about?’