Page 79 of Maybe Tomorrow

He no longer believed in Father Christmas. He was twenty-eight. He’d stopped believing years ago, but Christmas was still his favourite time. He loved getting presents. Leo always bought him comic books and chocolate. His mum always bought him clothes and a board game which they’d play together after the Queen’s speech. He’d eat too much, laugh too much and the day would pass by in a blur, but it was the best day ever.

This year was a complete contrast. There was a real tree in the remand centre, but it was tiny in a pot on a table in the games room. It had a few pathetic baubles and one long string of tinsel that had definitely seen better days. His mum and Leo had been to visit him two days before and brought him a big bar of a chocolate and a few comic books. His mum said there were presents waiting for him at home when he came out. The chocolate had been stolen off him as soon as he left the visiting room.

His Christmas dinner wasn’t a patch on anything his mum made. The turkey was dry. The stuffing was in balls. The gravy was watered down, and the sprouts were hard. He’d eaten it because he was hungry, but he hadn’t enjoyed it. Afterwards, he joined the long queue for the telephones. Several people had pushed in front of him, but after more than an hour of waiting, he managed to get to the phone and call his mum.

‘Merry Christmas, Mum,’ he tried to sound cheerful, but it wasn’t easy.

‘Oh, Merry Christmas, sweetheart,’ she said, genuinely pleased to hear his voice. ‘I thought you’d have called before now. Leo’s with me.’

‘Merry Christmas, Anthony!’ Leo called out.

‘Merry Christmas,’ he shouted back. ‘We’ve had so much to do here today, Mum. I lost track of time,’ he lied.

‘Have you had your dinner?’ Pauline asked.

‘Yes. It was nice, but not as nice as yours.’

‘Well, they’re catering for so many of you. You can’t expect it to be.’

‘What did you have?’ Anthony asked.

‘The usual. Did you seeFlash Gordonon the television last night?’

‘Yes. It finished just before nine which is when we have to go to our rooms. I missed Val Doonican.’

‘You didn’t miss much. And they’re bound to repeat it,’ Pauline assuaged.

Anthony couldn’t think of anything else to say. The silence between them was heavy.

‘There’sJim’ll Fix ItandThe Two Ronnieson tonight,’ Pauline said.

‘Yes. I’ll… well, it depends on what channel we’re watching.’

‘Oh. I see.’

‘Mum, will you come and see me again soon?’

‘Of course I will, sweetheart. We’re coming on the twenty-eighth. Everything’s all right, isn’t it?’

‘Yes. It’s just…’ He lowered his voice. ‘I miss you.’

‘I miss you, too,’ she said, a catch in her throat.

‘I don’t like it here, Mum,’ Anthony said, just above a whisper.

There was a long silence from the other end.

‘Anthony, it’s Leo. Your mum’s just… well… I thought I’d say hello.’ He tried to sound cheerful. ‘Are you all right?’

‘Yes. I’m going to have to go though, now, Leo. Other people want to use the phone.’

‘Oh. OK. Well, Merry Christmas, Anthony.’

‘Bye.’

He hung up the receiver and remained where he was.

‘Move it, fat boy, some of us have got families to talk to.’