Page 116 of The High Island

She was already replaying her meeting with Gus. How she’d reacted. How she might have done things differently. But that just reminded her of her past actions. Always trying and hoping she might manage to make things better between them.

When it wasn’t she who had made it worse.

The truth was Gus had started down that long, dark road before she discovered she was pregnant. Imagining him as a father and what that might mean for both her and the child haunted the few weeks before her decision.

Hearing the sound of Rachael retching in the bathroom at the Stromness Hotel had acted like a knife in her heart. At that point Rachael had told her that Kris wouldn’t want a child.

She, on the other hand, had known Guswouldwant a child. Not to nurture and to love, but to further control her, and then when the child was older, bully them too.

She’d imagined disappearing somewhere far from Caithness, joining the police in England, having the baby . . . but that would never have worked. Gus would have found her and the child and tortured them for ever.

When she’d toldDIFlett thatDSGowan was meticulous and thorough and never gave up, she’d spoken the truth. Command and control were his watchwords.

The question haunting her now was whether, having found her again, he would ever let her go.

The sight ofPCIvan Tulloch waiting for her beside the patrol car lifted her spirits. Despite her fears regarding Gus, she knew she was in safe hands with her fellow officers here in Orkney. As safe as she could ever be, anywhere.

‘How did it go with Eilidh’s dad?’ she asked as soon as they were both in the car.

‘When I was called back into the house, he switched his anger from Liz, for allowing his daughter to go to Kirkwall, to blaming the police for failing to control drugs coming into Orkney,’ he told her.

‘He does have a point,’ Jo said. ‘It is our job as police officers to protect the public.’

‘It’s his family bringing the stuff in,’ Ivan said. ‘And I don’t think he was ignorant of that fact. Anyway, he’s not staying at the house, but on Flotta at the helicopter base. So Liz is safe from his wrath for the moment.’

En route back to the guest house, Jo told him about Mackie and the contents of Ivor’s notebook regarding Cava. Plus the boss’s decision to do a sweep of the island first thing.

‘You’ve called Ethan about this?’ Ivan said.

‘Not yet. I’ll do it once we’re back at the house.’ Jo knew she sounded reticent, despite trying not to.

As he pulled to a halt outside Maggie’s bungalow, Ivan turned to face her. ‘What is it wi’ you and Ethan Howie, then?’ he said, a bemused look on his face.

‘Nothing,’ she said firmly.

‘Aye, that’ll be right,’ he retorted. ‘Away in and phone him in private. There’s food waiting for us, so best be quick about it, Sergeant.’

In her room now, Jo set about composing herself prior to makingthe call. But before she was ready, her phone rang, Ethan’s name on the screen.

‘Ethan,’ she answered in surprise.

‘I heard you were back.’

‘How? I’ve only just arrived!’ Then the penny dropped. ‘One of your Lyness ferry mates told you?’

When he didn’t respond, she added, ‘That could be regarded as stalking, you know.’

‘By him or by me?’ Ethan said with a laugh. Before she could form her retort to this, he asked about Mackie.

‘He’s comfortable,’ she told him, ‘and well guarded.’

‘Why are you here, then?’ he said.

‘I translated the remainder of the journal and Ivor did warn Kris that he might need to lie low. We think he suggested Cava.DIFlett wanted me to ask if you would be part of the search party heading there tomorrow.’

A brief silence followed, then, ‘I’ll have theAngelready at first light. See you and Tulloch at the jetty.’

‘I take it Ethan’s on board for tomorrow,’ Ivan said as she joined him at the dinner table.