Page 72 of The Cowboy and the Baby

Nothing.

Parenting took enough from me. I didn’t need to give the rest of my energy to Sarah. Lily deserved the best part of me. I drove up a wall between my worries over Sarah’s approval, and focused on getting through this in an adult and compassionate way.

Thomas cleared his throat while inspecting the ceiling corners, like he’d find something devastating there. Maybe he worried the roof might collapse in on him. Thomas, I would save.

Sarah, on the other hand . . .

Normal, I reminded myself. Cade had coached me through this, saying, Act like you’re friends. You’re not against each other, remember? Just be loose and confident and they’ll back down.

What would a normal person do? The only normal person I could think of was my grandmother, and though I hadn’t seen her in over a decade, I latched onto her as a mental model. Grandma would ask surface-level questions to buy time and play the game. Her sharp mind knew how to play these kinds of games.

I asked, “How is Robbie?”

Mention of their son, Lily’s father, brought an instant change sweeping over Sarah. She beamed.

“Robbie is at home again and doing well. He’s progressing as expected. It’s really remarkable what one can do when one applies oneself.”

The tangle of words came out forced, with a titter of laughter at the end that made her sound strangled, instead of sincere. I flicked a quick look at Thomas, but he betrayed nothing through his expression.

At home again meant Robbie had finished rehab.

“I’m happy to hear that.”

“Yes, we all are. Our family is really rallying together in a way that makes us all happy, under one roof, ready to support each other and Lily. Thomas’s business is booming, and Robbie is doing well at home, where he plans to stay. We’re a . . . happy family!”

I didn’t miss the hidden implication with the phrase and Lily. Whatever picture she attempted to paint, it didn’t come together very beautifully. With Thomas standing stiff as a board, head on a swivel, taking in the room, not muttering a word, I didn’t believe any of it. Robbie was probably home, strung out on cocaine, with his mother pleading for him to return to rehab and get his life together. I’d seen it before.

Suddenly, Sarah’s desperation made sense. She wasn’t fighting for Lily. She was fighting for everything. Sarah had been a stay-at-home mom for all of Robbie’s life, shoveling all her time, love, and attention onto him. Practices, events, parties. When he spiraled out of control, so did she.

She grasped for straws that weren’t there.

It brought a wave of compassion and determination over me. Lily would not grow up around Sarah, Robbie, or Thomas. She would be in my arms, at the ranch, where grandma and grandpa watched over us, where Cody and Wyatt traipsed around like protective older brothers, and Cade cared with his quiet ferocity.

Gathering my courage, I said, “I’m glad to hear Robbie is doing well, Sarah, and home with you. Naomi would have been pleased to hear that.”

At Naomi’s name, Sarah stiffened. The tension disappeared almost as quickly as it came as she returned her attention to Lily. I couldn’t help noticing that Thomas didn’t try to hold her, and Sarah didn’t offer.

I stood.

“It’s almost time for her to eat. Would you like to feed her?”

Sarah illuminated. “Yes, please!”

As I stood, Thomas asked, “You said, we. Is there someone helping you do all this work?” His finger twirled in a circle, motioning to the room around us. His attention had darted to the hallway and back. I couldn’t see into the kitchen anymore to know if Cade lurked in sight, but I doubted it.

“Yes. The ranch foreman and two ranch hands are helping.”

“Ranch hands and a foreman! Do they live here, too?” Sarah asked. She retracted Lily away, as if shielding her. The move appeared unconscious because all her energy shifted into glaring at me. “You live alone, unwed, with three men?”

A biting retort rose to my tongue. Yes, and I thoroughly kissed one of them last night. This isn’t the 1800s, so stop clutching your pearls. But I swallowed that retort down with all the others.

“They live on the ranch, yes. Cody and Wyatt live out in the barn. I’m in Grandpa’s old bedroom, Lily has her own bedroom beside mine, and Cade sleeps downstairs.”

A partial truth. He could sleep downstairs now that I’d cleared one bedroom out, but he’d only slept down there once. Mostly, he slept on the couch in case I needed help with Lily, though he’d never stated that outright. They didn’t need to know how slipshod and ramshackle this whole process had been.

“Do they have contact with Lily?”

“Of course.”