Page 35 of Protect Me

Ian rolls back his shoulders.“I don’t have a feminine side, asshole.What I do have is a woman in my life, something you don’t.So if you want some of my wisdom, now’s the time to ask.”

I scrub a hand down my face, lowering myself into the nearest chair.“After my divorce, I told myself a relationship wouldn’t work with this kind of job.I travel, I’m in danger often, and my ex was too damned fragile to handle both.She wanted me around and safe.So I figured when I’m finished with bodyguard work, maybe it’ll be time for a relationship.”

“Let me guess.Then you met up with Talia again.I could have saved you the aggravation and told you not to fight it from the beginning.”

“Why didn’t you then?”I ask.

“What fun would that be?”Ian slaps me on the shoulder.“Seriously, some things a man has to experience for himself.You wouldn’t have believed me unless you were forced to walk away and feel like you were missing a part of yourself.”

I reel at the accurate description.Ian nailed my feelings on the head.Abandoning Talia left me hollow.Like she took the part of me that enjoys life.

“And as for what she needs in a man, she seems like she handled danger just fine,” Ian notes.“And from what I’ve heard of her in our investigations of the mess she was in, she’s a workaholic.She’s not going to be sitting, wringing her hands, and waiting for you to come home.”

All valid points, I think, my mood looking up for the first time in weeks.

“So I hope you’ve gotten your shit together and are ready to tell her how you feel,” Ian says.

I glance down at my clothes, wrinkled from a long flight and the plane grime I want to wash away.“I wouldn’t mind a shower first,” I mutter.

“Too bad, because she’s waiting out front.”Ian grins, looking altogether pleased with himself.

“Excuse me?Talia’s here?And you’ve been shooting the shit in here with me?”I shook my head.The way my boss’s thinking works boggled the mind.

“I had to make sure I had you in the right headspace before meeting up with her.See, she met Charlie, and my wife likes her.I promised Charlie I’d prep you so you didn’t do anything stupid.”

Talia is here.I stopped listening to anything Ian said beyond that.

“I’ll send her in.Don’t fuck it up,” Ian says, and walks out the door.

***

Talia

I do asI promised my brother.I gave a lot of thought to a relationship with Shane.I consider what I want out of my life and what I am willing to give of myself.Because it isn’t fair to ask him to get involved when I’m not willing to invest myself, too.

Being forced to look inward isn’t easy, and I don’t like what I learn.Because I dive into work for all the right…and wrong reasons.It is right that I want to find a cure for what ultimately took my mother from me.It is right that I dedicated my life to a cause.But it is wrong that I buried myself and my feelings and needs because I was afraid of more loss.

I essentially lost Shane when he walked out of my life almost three weeks ago, and I haven’t had a good day since, so I know what I have to do.

I rub my hands together nervously.I don’t want to show up on Shane’s doorstep only to find he isn’t home, so I called McKay-Taggart to ask when he’ll be in the office.My call was transferred directly to Ian, which surprises me, and he was almost gleefully willing to help.He called me this morning, letting me know Shane is back in the office.

So here I am, following Ian down the hall.He pauses at the entrance of the same conference room where this all began.“Go easy on him,” Ian says, a grin on his face.

Who knew the big man liked to play matchmaker?“Thank you,” I say, drawing a deep breath before I gather my courage and step inside.

Shane stands at the window overlooking the outdoors.

“Hi,” I say, and he turns to face me.

I am surprised by his appearance—the scruffy beard, the exhaustion in his eyes, and the rumpled wrinkles in his clothes, dark jeans, and a light blue polo shirt.I drink him in, his face just as handsome, the scruff adding to his sex appeal.And I couldn’t care less about the wrinkles.

I’m feeling suddenly shy but know that won’t work for why I am here.

“Hey.”He shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.“How have you been?”

“Good.”I swallow hard.“No, that’s a lie.Not good.Not even close.”

He narrows his gaze, worry in his gorgeous blue eyes.“Did you get an infection from where I had to cut you?”he asks.