Page 88 of The Fighter

“I need you to lock it in and not lose it,” Nik warned

And that pissed me right the fuck off. “I’m not going to lose it, but I need you to start explaining without me pulling the information out of you bit by bit, Nik.”

Ben stepped in, which was probably for the best. “We had a plan in place for Con to bait Devlin into taking him while wearing a tracker ring. Then we’d know where he’d been hiding and take him out for good.” My heart pounded so loudly in my ears that I had to strain to hear Ben’s voice. “But this wasn’t the bait. This was too soon.”

I stared at Nik, because I needed something to focus my anger on. “Are you fucking with me?”

“This wasn’t my idea,” Nik spat. “Don’t look at me like that. I was against it.”

I turned my anger to Ben. “You?”

“Conrad,” Ben said simply. “It was his idea.”

“He wasn’t going to tell you,” Nik said. “But this morning he changed his mind. That’s what we were talking about on the phone. He was going to tell you.” He pointed to the smashed bag of cinnamon rolls. “That was probably his peace offering.”

I couldn’t look at that bag with a dirty boot print on it. I couldn’t look at Nik. Or Ben. Or any of these men. I turned and walked to the windows overlooking Detroit and leaned my head on the cool glass there. I closed my eyes. And I reached inside for the Husk that I knew I could be. The Husk that had saved me countless times over the past five years. I couldn’t find that emptiness anymore, but I could coat my new skin that Con had revealed with the old, scarred armor of Husk. I needed it now more than ever.

No one spoke to me as I let the pieces fit into place, as I covered up all the softness that I’d let show over the last few weeks with Con. When I turned around to face the men in the apartment, I was someone new. Not Husk. Not Tav. Maybe this was The Gavel, the fighter I could have been if I’d been given the chance. I strode back to the island and focused on the map, forcing my brain to work logically. “Show me again where his last signal came from.”

Hours later, my eyeballs felt like they were bleeding out of my skull. My throat hurt from calling everyone I could think of, though most of my previous contacts with Devlin were either dead or not answering the phone. All of Soto’s crews were out searching for Con, and Ben had called most of Soto’s escorts to ask if they had heard anything. We dug into the city’s criminal network with cracked and bleeding nails, and all we had to show for it wasnothing. We’d found the tracker ring on the side of the street, likely tossed from a car window.

Con and Devlin were like mist. As soon as we thought we had a good lead, we’d send a full crew there only for them to come up empty.

I told Nik and Ben that I suspected Con was being held where I’d been kept five years ago for that long tortuous week, but the problem was that I didn’t know where it was. I’d been unconscious when they dumped me there, and I’d been nearly unconscious and wearing a hood when they drove me away. I wracked my brain for any clues I could think of, but I’d been too out of it back then to remember anything.

We worked all night. At one point, I passed out with my head on my arms sitting at the kitchen island only to jolt awake with ideas of more locations to search. Ben shoved a protein bar in my hand, and I ate it as I ignored the pain in my gut like my insides were rotting.

By the time the sun rose on the second day of Con missing, my whole body was one exposed, raw nerve. My armor was cracking, but I held it all together with tape and hope.

Ben placed a steaming mug of coffee in front of me. He didn’t look any better. Dark circles marred the skin under his eyes, andhis hair was greasy and disheveled. Nik was talking to some of his men over by the window, so Ben and I had a moment alone. He set his mug down on the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re holding up better than I expected.”

Around Con I’d been able to feel things. Let emotions show. Break down. Like when I thought Devlin had my sister. But that was because Con was safe. There was nothing safe here for me anymore, not this apartment, not these people, not fucking anything. I wouldn’t feel safe again until Con was back, and then I could break.

I didn’t know how to respond to Ben, so I said nothing.

His fingers twitched. “Devlin won’t kill him. Conrad was sure of it.”

I shook my head. “He can do worse than kill.” I would know. He’d done it to me.

Ben swallowed and looked away with a muttered curse.

“I need to go out there.” My leg shook as I took a sip of the too-hot coffee. It burned all the way down. “I can’t sit in this apartment anymore. I need to be out there searching.”

“And then have Devlin find you too?” Ben shook his head. “Conrad would be furious if I let you get hurt.”

“Yeah?” I snapped and rose to my full height. I had a few inches on Ben, and he swallowed as he looked up at me. “And what if there isn’t enough left of Conrad to even get furious?”

His face paled. “Don’t fucking say that. It’s not going to happen.”

“Of course it’s not,” I growled. “Because I’m going to get out there and fucking find him.”

“Nik!” Ben hollered.

I narrowed my eyes and snarled, “Snitch.”

Nik entered the kitchen, but whatever he planned to say was cut off by a frantic knocking on the front door, followed by muffled yells. He frowned and grabbed his gun before stridingdown the hallway and peeking through the peephole. His shoulders settled, and he opened the door.

A man wearing a pair of tight jeans and a massive sweatshirt that hung off one shoulder stood in the doorway, a cell phone clutched in his hand. His hair was short with loose waves on top, and his big brown eyes were massive in his pretty face.