Page 56 of The Fighter

I picked up our plates and carried them to the sink to rinse them before loading them in the dishwasher. Tav followed me and pulled himself up to sit on the counter beside the sink. If literally anyone else sat on my counters, I would knock their teeth out. But Tav just sat there swinging his legs, and it reminded me so much of his nephew that my heart ached.

“I’m impressed you came from that to this, Con,” he said, pulling a leg up so one bare heel resting on my counter. Abare foot. On mykitchen counter. And all I could think about was how great he looked with his head leaned back on my upper cabinets.

“Don’t make me into some self-made success story,” I said. “I was a criminal well into my twenties, and I did not commit victim-less crimes. Mostly financial ones, but still. Crimes.” I shut my dishwasher and leaned a hip against it. “Okay?”

“Okay.” He studied me. “Is that why you made Soto? To help your guilt over those crimes? Is it only about Devlin?”

I wrinkled my nose. “No who’s poking around in whose head?”

His expression didn’t change. “Tell me.”

“No,” I answered honestly. “I don’t care that I stole from billionaire’s hedge funds. I don’t care that I extorted shitty men who did shitty things. That’s how I got to be CEO Conrad Stafford. But the robberies I made as a teen? The ones where I held up a gun to some single mom who was just working the overnight shift at a Speedway to make extra money? Yeah, that weighs on my soul.”

I stepped in front of him, and he ran his hand up my chest and around to the back of my head. He tugged there, until I was forced to lean into him, my face in his neck. I closed my eyes, fighting back the memories of my desperate teenage self, the scared look in Ben’s eyes, and Devlin’s unhinged glee. I hadn’t seen the warning signs in Devlin until it had been too late.

Tav’s other arm came around my back, and there was the hug again, so warm and strong that I sank into it with all my weight. Tav smelled like burgers and the leather of my couch where he’d fallen asleep on his stomach, face smashed into the pillow. I had checked to make sure he wasn’t suffocating.

His hand drifted up and down my back. “Is that what you see in me? A way to make up for what you did?”

I lifted my head only so that I could touch our foreheads together. “No.”

“No?”

“I wanted you before I knew any of this about you, Tav. I justwantedyou.” My hands clutched at his waist, and I let my fingers play up over his ribs. “I wanted the way you come alive under my hands. The way you let yourself be vulnerable with me. Your dimples. Your eggs in the morning. I wanted it all, and every hour I spend with you, it just gets better. I just watched you eat three burgers with the manners of a toddler, and all it did was make me want to kiss you. So yeah, this has nothing to do with cleansing my soul, but everything to do with desiring you so badly that it makes me insane.”

His hand on my neck drifted up into my hair, and then he yanked my head back. His eyes narrowed. “Manners of a toddler?”

“Tav, you have ketchup on your earlobe.”

He shoved me away with a laugh that boomed through my apartment, and I swore my heart levitated at the sound.

“It’s all set,” Nik’s gravelly voice said over the line. I heard a door shut in the background, followed by the sound of a car ignition starting. “Anything else?”

I exhaled slowly, feeling some of the pressure ease in my chest. “No, go home. You’ve done more than enough the last few days.”

“I’m going to make a few more rounds and check on the crew.”

“Nik—”

“He’s there?”

While I stood in my office, Tav was laid out on the couch watching some reality TV cooking show. He said he liked the competition ones, and I noticed he always rooted for the underdog.

“Yeah?”

“Did you hide the knives?”

“Oh fuck off.” I could hear the smile in my voice, so I’m sure he did too. “Maybe come by tomorrow. Meet him properly without a western showdown.”

I could hear his turn signal in the background. A few horns from the traffic. “I’d like that.”

“Text first.”

“I learned my lesson.”

The call disconnected, and I stared at my phone for a while. After checking the reports on Tav’s sister and nephew and ensuring all was okay, I went out to join Tav.

He sat on the couch, volume low on the TV, starting at his phone on the coffee table. His hands were clasped in his lap, and he jiggled his one thigh. When he glanced at me, I could see his nerves were back. We were approaching ten p.m. Chen check-in. But thanks to Nik and my crew, I had a few things to go over first.