Page 6 of Fallynn West

“Of course.”

I turned on the playlist we made for her last week and listened to her sing along to every song. Every so often, I would glance in the rearview mirror. My baby girl was so pretty. She looked just like her mother, and sometimes, I didn’t like it. While my ex, Demetria, had blessed me with the greatest gift in life, she didn’t stick around to appreciate it.

Selfishly, when Kehlani was two, Demetria chose herself. She no longer wanted to dedicate her life to being a mother. The desire and love to pursue her dreams outweighed the love shehad for Kehlani. Demetria swore up and down it wasn’t like that, but she couldn’t convince me otherwise. That night she dropped Kehlani off always played in the back of my mind.

The constant ringing of my doorbell woke me up. I shot up, and my heart pounded in an erratic rhythm. Grabbing my gun from my nightstand, I headed to the front door. On the walk to it, my eyes caught one of my clocks to see it was a little after three in the morning. I had no clue who could be at my door in the middle of the night, especially with how frantically they were ringing the doorbell. It was witching hours, as my mother called it, so it couldn’t be good news.

“Who is it?” I yelled and pressed my ear against the door.

“It’s me.”

I’d know Demetria’s voice from anywhere, so I wasted no time tucking my gun in my waist and opening the door.

There she stood with Kehlani in her arms. Rain pitter pattered in the background, and I immediately felt my anger rising.

“Are you serious, Demetria? Why do you have my daughter out in the rain in the middle of the night?” I gently took a sleeping Kehlani and Rabbie from her and kissed Kehlani’s cheek.

Demetria didn’t speak. Instead, she blankly stared at us with tears cascading down her cheeks. It wasn’t until then that I noticed the bags crowding her feet. Everything belonged to Kehlani. Off in the distance, Demetria’s car was still running with the headlights on. I looked from the bags to her.

“What the fuck is going on, Demetria?”

“I choose me, Keondra.”

“Excuse me?”

Tossing her arms in the air, Demetria released an exasperated breath and placed her hands on top of her head. She looked me straight in my eyes and explained. “I choose me.For the past three years, which includes my pregnancy, I’ve chosen Kehlani. Don’t get me wrong. I love my baby, but I can’t be who I need to be because I need to be a mother first. Do you know how draining that is when I have aspirations in life? I can’t do the things I want or need to do because every ounce of energy I have goes into her. It’s draining, Keondra, and I refuse to continue going on like this.”

I thought I wasn’t hearing things correctly. It was my turn to stare at Demetria blankly as I processed her words. Did I understand what she meant? Partially. As long as I’d known Demetria, she’d been ambitious. It was one of the many things that drew me to her, but the shit she said didn’t make any sense to me when majority of the time, Kehlani was with me.

Demetria and I split six months after Kehlani was born, but our relationship was over way before that. She had checked out on me when she was about three months pregnant. I immediately realized it, but I fought to keep us together. I assumed it was because of her pregnancy hormones. When things didn’t change after KeKe was born, I accepted it for what it was.

Since then, Kehlani was with me at least 85 percent of the time. I probably had her for three weeks out the month compared to Demetria’s one. If that wasn’t enough time for her to choose herself, then I didn’t know what was.

With my free hand, I scrubbed my hand down my face. “Don’t tell me you’re doing what I think you’re doing.”

Slowly, Demetria nodded and took a step back. “I am. I love our daughter, but you know this life isn’t what I wanted.”

“Don’t try to put the blame on me. I told you to get an abortion. I had nothing but respect for whatever you decided for this exact reason, Demetria. As badly as that shit would’ve crushed me, I could’ve lived with it. This. . .I can’t live with. The thought of you abandoning my baby girl, leaving me to bethe one to explain everything to her.” I cradled Kehlani tighter, feeling the weight of becoming a single father start to weigh me down already. “You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to leave her. We can work something out. I’ll do whatever I need to be in your corner, but please, don’t scar her like this.”

Demetria’s bottom lip trembled as she came over, sweetly kissed Kehlani’s cheek, and backed away again. Without uttering a reply, I watched her trek toward her car.

“Demetria!” I called out to her before she could climb in her car. She stopped but didn’t turn around, so I continued. “If you walk out now, don’t ever think I’ll let you walk back in.”

For a moment, she stood there. I noticed the drop in her shoulders as she lifted her head to the sky. She was pondering, and I prayed she made the right decision. No part of me doubted myself. I knew I was more than capable of being everything Kehlani needed, but only as a father. I couldn’t replace her mother.

Glancing over her shoulder, Demetria stated, “I won’t.”

That was the last time I ever heard from or saw her. Up until about six months ago, Kehlani would ask about Demetria. She didn’t know who she was, but she understood her mother was missing from her life.

We arrived at Daily Fix, and when I got Kehlani out the truck, she dashed inside without waiting for me. If we were anywhere else, I would’ve gotten onto her, but everyone I employed was overly protective of her, so she was good.

“Chef Q! Do you have my waffles?” Kehlani all but yelled, skipping to the back with me hot on her heels.

She tried rounding the corner and going into the kitchen, but I gently grabbed her shoulders and gave her a stern expression.

“What did I tell you about the kitchen?”

Fiddling with one of her braids, Kehlani answered, “I’m not allowed back there because I could get hurt.”