Page 29 of Fallynn West

“I thought about moving away before, but deep down, I knew I couldn’t raise Kehlani without them. It would’ve been selfish of me to take her away from them because of how I felt, so I powered through it.”

“That makes sense. Sometimes, a change of scenery is needed. Being away from the reminders of pain has helped me grow in ways I didn’t think I could.”

Once Colony got the hang of fileting, I went to the sink to finish washing and cutting up the potatoes. We allowed the music to speak for us. The melodic sounds of MC’s newest beat filled the air. He’d easily become one of my favorite producers, and to know he was from the city made it even better.

“Keondra?” Colony called out.

“Ma’am?”

“Ooo, don’t do that.” She playfully held the knife out toward me.

Raising my hands in surrender, I joked, “You’re two years older than me, Colony. I gotta respect my elders.”

She searched around for something to throw at me. When she couldn’t find anything, she stuck her tongue out at me.“Don’t think you’re about to be making jokes about my age, Keondra. Just because I’m older than you doesn’t mean anything.”

“Yeah, yeah. What’s up?”

Immediately, I noticed her demeanor had changed. Colony carefully set the knife down and stared at me. “Tell me something.”

“I’ll tell you anything.”

“What are your intentions when dating? Are you dating to have a good time or with the intent to become more?”

The answer was easy for me. It was something I thought about more often than I cared to admit. “My intentions when dating are to date to marry. I’m not in the business of being with someone for the hell of it. Time is valuable, and it is also limited. I want to be able to give someone all of me. I want to be able to spend my life with someone who I cherish and adore. Not only do I need it, but so does Kehlani. So, when I date, which we both know has been a while since I have, my intentions are pure. What about you, Colony?”

“Truthfully, mine are the same. As you can see, I’m not getting any younger. I want to experience true love. The type of love where even when the fire dies down, it can be reignited. I want the type of love where we’re willing to stay in it and fight for us no matter what. Now, I’m not for the cheating and shit. I’d much rather a man tell me he doesn’t want to be with me than continue stringing me along while having another woman. I’ve had enough of that. Like you, my intentions are pure.”

“I see we’re on the same page then, huh?”

“We are.” Colony bit her bottom lip, then expelled a shaky sigh. “What about kids? Do you want more?”

“One day. I’m not pressed about it, but whenever I get married, I’d love to share a child with my wife. I’d want her to love Kehlani the same, though. What about you?”

“Maybe we should stop while we’re ahead.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“If kids are something you want, and we decide to take this further, that’s something I can’t give you.”

Realization set in. Silent tears stained Colony’s mocha cheeks. Making my way over to her, I draped my arms around her neck, and she buried her face into my chest. I silently prayed over her while she released her pain. With her line of work, I could only imagine how painful it was for her. She carried it so well, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t heavy for her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered against my chest.

I kissed the top of her head. “Don’t apologize, Colony.”

“That’s another hard topic for me to talk about, but after witnessing how you are with Kehlani, the thought kept crossing my mind. I know y’all went through some tough shit, but it’s plain as day that you have more than enough love to give.” She leaned back and looked at me. “I’m really feeling you, Keondra. This wave we’re on is nice, but I wanted to be up front with you. I’m not sure if you’re feeling what I’m feeling, and I know it’s soon, but I can see a future with you. I can see this going somewhere.

“Before we got too deep, I wanted to be real with you. I know for some people, children are a deal breaker. I’d never want to be the reason something in your life isn’t fulfilled.”

Gently, I kissed her lips. “Like I said, I’m not pressed about it. Kehlani fulfils something in me that doesn’t need replenishing. Would it be nice to have another child? Yes. Is it a deal breaker? No. A deal breaker for me would be a woman not loving Kehlani. Any relationship I step into, she’s at the forefront of my mind. Before we even started this, you loved her. Your intentions with her have been pure, so it makes it easier for me to take these steps with you.

“I’m with you, Colony. I can see us taking strides to be in this for the long haul. Our values and needs align. We vibe well, and the sex is . . .” I let out a low whistle, picturing her legs wrapped around my face again. “All in all, we’re not stopping anything because you wouldn’t be able to give me a child. Maybe that’s a reason God blessed me with one ahead of time. Maybe that’s the reason He allowed you to fall in love with her before we ever connected. Everything happens for a reason.”

The topic at hand was sensitive, and I was glad Colony felt comfortable opening up to me. I wanted to know more, but I wasn’t sure if digging any deeper would help. I didn’t know if she would be triggered, or how it would affect her, so I’d follow her lead. I’d allow her to speak more on it whenever she was ready.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Colony wrapped her arms around me and admitted, “I’m glad I shared that with you. You don’t know how much better I feel talking about it.”

“And I’m glad you shared it with me. I can imagine it wasn’t easy.”