Page 71 of Mr. Calloway

She decided to do a session with me. She figured talking about it would start the healing process, but it was clear I still wasn’t ready. She sat on the side of my bed with sadness in her.

“It’s going to take some time. You will not heal overnight.”

She reached over to her side and gave me an orange journal with black stripes. “Here. Sometimes writing the words is easier than saying them. Put it all in here, no matter what it is, and when you’re ready, you can share it or read it later to face those fears.”

I took the journal from her hand. “It looks like Chevy’s.”

Her head flew back. “What do you mean?”

“I saw him writing in the car the other day. I saw the journal on the first day I met him. You didn’t know?”

I could tell she didn’t, and I didn’t know if my saying that was a good or bad thing.

“Maybe he has words that are hard to say. Don’t tell him I told you,” I told her.

She gave me a weak smile. “I won’t. I do think you should get out of the house and do something with your friends.”

I nodded. “Yeah, the girls invited me to the rink. I think I’ll go.”

Zaria was so understanding that I knew my healing process would be a little easier. I wasn’t sure how long it was going to take me to heal, but I hoped it didn’t take as long as Chevy because it seemed that he would die before his wounds turned into faded scars.

June

PRESS PLAY

I sat in front of the guys, trying to find the right words to say. Foe’s impatient ass ran his hand down his face.

“Ayo, Chev, fuck is up, man?”

“Foe, slow up, nigga. We chillin’.”

Diamond shook his head. “Nah, this ain’t chillin’. This is niggas sitting on the back porch waiting to hear some bullshit.”

Zeus glanced around. “What are we waiting on? The other little niggas?”

I lit a blunt and began smoking. “Nah, it’s just us. The OGs.”

“Well, pass the blunt, nigga, ’cause you on some paw-paw shit, and I need to smoke.”

Preach shook his head. “Let me sit down for this.”

I glanced at them and took them in. They all had truly stepped into their purpose, and that shit made a nigga’s heart warm. Zeus had a family, Diamond was married, Foe was being Foe, and Preach was true to what he stood on. From the time I left California until now, I would never have imagined this was what it would lead to.

Each of them was young and dumb as they grew into men. It was not only time for me to sit back and try to enjoy life, but for them to do the same. I took a few more pulls before handing it over to Foe.

“Nigga, finally! Shit smells like some gas too,” he cackled.

While Foe pulled on the blunt, Diamond rolled another and lit it.

Puff, puff, pass.

His shoulders bounced as he choked on the smoke. Foe handed the blunt to Zu while Diamond handed me his blunt.

Puff, puff, pass.

“It ain’t smokin’ if you ain’t chokin’.” Foe laughed. “You know, Diamond, you’ve always been the weak one with the weed.”

Puff, puff, pass.