Page 82 of Retrograde

The video started with reporters rushing up to him as he walked out of a building with several Queen’s Guards and a few tigers who were working with him on the project. People started calling out his name and questions about what was going on and why I would allow people from another country to have input on the security of the castle and Thovudin.

He stopped and rolled his eyes. “Well, the dragons who handled it before got her parents killed, so I think outside opinions are smart instead of listening to the idiots who still defend the former elders. Still run their mouths about misunderstandings and everyone lines their pockets. So yeah, I’d trust the professionals from Protesia who are awesome to work with.”

I frowned; that was great. I didn’t see a problem at all.

Treena snickered.

Oh shit.

“Are you looking forward to your meetings with the new high priest? Will you have meetings with a temple head in Jade Creek instead or—”

He stopped in his tracks and started chuffing. “You all need to drop this because it’s disgusting. None of us are children who—I won’t be a puppet for the temples or a conduit to control the queen because she’s too powerful for them to control. She’s supposed to be more powerful. She took down an elder and his family witheasebecause she’s awesome.

“So you can’t get to her and now you want to use us. And not only is it stupid, it’sBLEEPinsulting because I’m notBLEEPstupid. I know when someone’s trying to manipulate me. That’s all this is and it’s grotesque and I won’t be party to it. Any candidate who even considers it is aBLEEPmoron and shouldn’t be anywhere near the queen, much less her mate.

“This isn’t a reality show with interviews and producers influencing contestants. It’s ourlivesand about theBLEEPfuture of our country. Honestly, I thought this wasn’t a bad idea at first on how to find mates for the queen because of what happened, but now I think it’s the stupidestBLEEPidea ever.

“And I thoughtmatesbecause she would need more protection because Thovudin is so sexist, more backup, but the way people talk about it all—I want to walk even though I genuinely like her and think we could be a good team. It’s gross. Being in this position is gross most days, and that makes me sad forherbecause those of us who could be good for her willbail.

“Then she’s stuck with theBLEEPlosers andBLEEPoptions who will ruin her and she doesn’t deserve that.” He let out a long sigh and chuffed a few more times before looking at the reporters in turn. “Seriously, pull your heads out of your asses. You’re being short-sighted about views and stories now and hurting the future of Thovudin.

“It will affect you later on. Your kids. Your family. All our futures if you keep acting like this.” He shook his head when people shouted questions again. “I’m not aBLEEPchild! I can ask for advice when I need it. I have and will from people I trust, not the priests—most of whom don’tmate,so what theBLEEPdo they know about mating and a partnership?

“Nothing. That’s the answer. They know nothing, but they want to get their claws into us, and I would rather drown myself than ever be a puppet. Or be the vessel who hurts thequeen who never stops working to help all ofyou. And you don’t evenBLEEPdeserve it. You just—you’re all disgusting. I don’t care who tries to require me to talk to whomever. Suck my BLEEP.”

I covered my face and turned away trying to control myself, but the laugh slipped out. I met Maple’s gaze and then it grew when she broke. Treena, Myriam—most of the women and a lot of the men in the room laughed too.

I glanced at Ayao. “Was it suck your dick or suck your ass?”

He cleared his throat. “Cock. I completely blew my lid.”

I sighed and scrubbed my hands over my face. “Yeah, it happens. This—it’s so creepy that they want you all to sit for meetings with whoever the new high priest will be like we don’t know what is happening.”

“Especially because I’m not religious and have issues with the temple,” he grumbled. “I’m sorry, it’s a particularly hot issue for me and—I can explain more to you privately, but—I’m really sorry, Sagan. Really.”

People froze that he called me that in the meeting like that.

I ignored it, realizing this had something to do with his mother and he was truly upset. “I’m more annoyed they will brush off your swearing like that and people still talk about mytantruminterview.” I studied him. “We need to get on the same page about this.”

“I agree,” he said firmly. “None of us want to do those interviews. We need to be—I know you keep saying it’s not a competition, but in a way it is, but it’s not—you’re not a prize. But that’s what even normal mating…” He looked at Treena for help.

She nodded and glanced at me. “Even in Bodach, it’s said in the media that when one of us comes of age, the competition for mating us begins. All the eligible whoever start peacocking for our attention and being paraded around us. They’re not wrongand you are the prize.You are, not being prince. That’s the problem.”

I sighed. Heavily, and nodded. “I hear you. It’s just all so gross.” I glanced at Ayao and gestured for him to sit.

But at least his blowup—while amusing—was also useful. All the Alphas and candidates agreed to putting out a joint statement that the meetings with whoever was the new high priest wouldn’t happen. The temple had nothing to do with my mating, never did, and all of us were outraged by their continued insistence on trying to insert themselves into the situation.

Especially when they never had before and had absolutely nothing to do with my parents’ courting.

“I understand that you’re all—fine, it’s a competition in some ways, but this all needs to be the same team in other ways,” I said firmly as I gestured to the whole room. “It needs to be the team of what’s best for Thovudin’s future. I will do my best to preserve your pride and not make any of you look bad, but youhave tostop being so selfish.

“I’m not accepting multiple mates when it’s reported I’m a whore. You’re not even trying to fix that and then telling Darren there will bewarif I don’t do it.” I stared down the problems specifically. “That won’t be the outcome. You’ll be out because thesaneAlphas won’t risk the future of Thovudin foryourfamily member to have power over me andtheir areas.”

That was the right button to push. It was so clear that was the right button that it was like I saw all the light bulbs go off over their heads.

It would almost have been amusing if the situation wasn’t so fucking important and exhausting.

Right before lunch, I brought up what else I wanted to handle.