Page 84 of Love Expert

“Why even bother? Love doesn’t sell! Love doesn’t even last. Love is a figment of our imagination, and the failure rates are even worse than those of small businesses. I raised you better than this. I raised you to be sensible.”

“I’m being sensible! Jesus, Mom. Just give it a break already. I understand that you lost Daddy, okay? And I understand that it was horrible.”

“This has nothing to do with your fath?—”

“It haseverythingto do with my father! You were happy. Once, a really long time ago, I know you were happy. But then he died, and it hurt. I get that it was painful. But there comes a point where you have to find happiness in who you are. Find happiness in the life you have. And if nothing else, fake a little happiness so your daughter doesn’t grow up feeling like a fucking failure, because she has his eyes, but she’s not him.”

“Mag—”

“You had a responsibility, Mom. Even if it hurt, and even if it was hard, you were supposed to take care of me to the best of your ability. Instead, you isolated us. You took me away from the only home I knew, away from the only family I had, and then you made me raise myself, because you were too damn proud to tell anyone you were struggling. You forced me to grow up, to fend for myself, and then for my ninth birthday, you slept with your head in the toilet, puking your guts up and crying about how you wish you’d died instead. Youforcedme to become the caretaker, and even when we had neighbors who wanted to help, you lied and said we were fine.”

“We were f?—”

“We were not fine, Mom! And you know what? I lost him, too. In the span of a single month, I lost my dad, my mom, my grandma, my home, and my best friend, but you didn’t care about any of that. You didn’t give a shit, because your pain was more important than mine. Now I’m grown, and all those things still happened to me, but instead of curling into a ball and wishing for death like you did, I’m choosing to err on the side of love and positivity and happiness. I still believe in those things, even if you don’t. That’s how I heal.” I bring my car around a corner and onto the street where Brienne’s diner bustles with customers waiting for their lunch.

Pulling into a parking spot out front, I cut the engine and snatch up my phone, but now that our call no longer plays through the car’s speakers, I bring the device to my ear. “I feel sorry for you, Mom. I know you lost a lot, and I know losing that kind of love must’ve been crippling. But eventually, you were supposed to get up again and keep going. If not for you, then at the very least, you should have done it for me.”

“Magn—”

“Do you wanna know what hurt more than losing my dad?” I grab my keys and shove my door open, shivering as the cool wind whips my hairaround my shoulders. Climbing out and locking up behind me, I stalk toward the diner door. “Realizing that I wasn’t enough reason for you to live. Which is a real shame, because we’re supposed to love our kids more than that.” I yank the diner door open, the bell ringing above my head and announcing my arrival, then I charge past Elson while he bows over his cup of coffee and flashes a teasing wink my way.

I continue past the counter and into the back, lowering my voice and trading my keys for an apron. Because maybe love doesn’t sellenoughto pay a hugely inflated mortgage, but it’s enough for me. For my heart. “I’m at work now. We’ll pick this up some other time.”

“But I called to talk about?—”

“My failures, mostly. My insecurities. My pain. You called to compare me to Alana, like her pain is a bright spot in your world, and then you wanted to talk about how much your life sucks and yada, yada, yada. I figure we’ve covered all this in the past, and I still have an eight-hour shift to get through, so I might skip today’s episode of‘my poor mom’if that’s alright with you.”

I drag the phone away from my ear, kill our call, and scan the barrage of texts still waiting on my screen.

Fox wants to know what my purple panties looked like.Nothing too fancy. And Alana wants to know if Billy and I are going public yet.Not likely.Eliza wants to know if I have a desire to learn how to fight.No thanks. And Rose… is oddly quiet.

Good.

Tying a fresh apron around my hips, I drop my phone into the pocket just in case a Magnolia Sava client felt the need to call—all three or four of them—then I stalk back into the hall and around to my side of the counter.

“Hey.” Brienne stops in front of me with a coffee pot and a bright smile. But when our eyes meet, and I can’t manage a good enough expression, her happiness slips. “What? What happened?”

“Just my mom.” I snatch her coffee pot and stride toward my customers. “Are you sure Billy didn’t fall in love with you yet, Bri? I’m pretty dedicated to maintaining my flawless success rate.”

She scoffs. “He’s in love with someone, sweetpea. But it ain’t me. And it isn’t Devina or Cass, either.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” God. Have I ever been so selfless than in the moment I set my friends up to date the man who stole my heart eons ago? “He’s the complete package. He’s sweet, and funny, and employed.” I wink for my elderly diners and earn Elson’s flirty grin. “He’semployed, Bri! Which is basically better than every other man who walked into your life in the past.”

“Yowch,” she snickers, scrunching her nose and swinging around to collect a plate when the kitchen bell dings. “Going straight for the throat today, I see.”

“He’s brave and consistent. He’s thoughtful, and even though he’s suffered tremendous loss, he’s still full of life and happiness and gentleness. Plus, he’s the best father I’ve ever met. And that’s a pretty tall order, considering I metmyfather.”

“I dunno, babe.” She sets a bowl of soup and fresh bread in front of a customer. “Seems to me like maybe he’s already taken.” She brushes the heat from her hands and meets my eyes. “Have you considered setting him up with… you?”

Can’t. He’s texted me three times already asking if I took the Plan B pill yet, which means his fear of fathering my child flies directly in the face of the dozen children I want someday.

“We’re not compatible.” I set my hand on Elson’s shoulder and gift him with a smile. “But if I work really hard and avoid all the major arguments we’re apt to have, I could probably spend the next seventy years loving his son and being the exclusive giver of all the best hugs. It’s a deal I’m willing to take.”

“Speaking of deals, sweetheart.” Elson settles back in his chair and takes my hand from his shoulder, sandwiching it between his palms. “You know that party we were gonna plan?”

Oh God, Oh no.I swallow the sprouting dread nestled deep in my throat. “Y-your fiftieth anniversary?” I peek across at his sweet wife and force a smile. “You’re not breaking up with him, are you? Whatever he did, I bet we could figure it out.”

Chuckling, Elson shakes his head. “Our Isla’s been on her mom and me for months, demanding we have this damned event, which is how we started talking to you about it in the first place. But she’s begging us to let her plan it.”