Page 75 of Love Expert

“You get all the fun stuff,” I murmur, accepting a tissue that simply arrives from… nowhere. Or, really, from Billy, who hovers nearby, too well-behaved to encroach. Scrunching the tissue, I press it gently to Jeremy’snose and smile down at his watery eyes. “Even though storms can be scary, I know your dad is strong and sensible, so even when he’s out being someone else’s hero, I know he’ll always be okay. He’s too stubborn not to be, don’t you think?”

Giggling, Jeremy nods.

“No dumb storm will ever mess with Detective Caster, and it especially won’t stop him from coming home to you—” I tap the end of his nose. “—Since you’re so dang cute. And guess what? I live next door now, so if there’s ever a storm bad enough that the phone rings and your dad has to go help somebody, I’ll be here.”

“You’ll stay with me?” His voice shakes. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

“Even if you marry someone else and they don’t want you to talk to us anymore?”

“Even if I—” Stunned, I study his sweet face and the worry lines marking his brow. “If I get married? Honey, if I get married, I would ask you to walk me down the aisle, anyway.”

His eyes flare wide. “Really?”

“Of course! My dad isn’t around anymore, and you’re my most favorite guy on the planet. Who else would I ask if not you?” I press a kiss between his brows and luxuriate in the way he turns impossibly still. He’s so careful not to bump me back. So mindful not to be the brute he usually is. “If my new husband has a problem with how much I love you, then he won’t be my new husband. He’ll be my ex, and he’ll have a big, red, boot-shaped mark stamped into his butt, because that’s how hard I’d kick him out the door.”

Sniffling, he settles into the crook of the couch and fingers a length of my hair, playing with the lock and twisting it between his fingers. “I’m sorry your dad died.” Blinking through his tears, he brings wet eyes up to mine. “I know how that feels, ‘cept you had a mom and no dad, and I have a dad and no mom.”

I clamp my lips shut and try with all my might to still my trembling jaw.

“Was your dad amazing?”

And there it goes, my breath bursting free anyway, fluttering his new hairdo back. “Yeah. He was amazing. He’s the reason I believe in true love, and the reason I worksohard at my business. I grew up watching the way he loved.”

“How he loved your mom?”

“Her. And me. I got to feel his hugs, and I even got to lie with him onthe couch, kinda how you and I do it. We’d tangle our feet and whisper about our day. He wasn’t afraid of storms, either. In fact, I’m not sure he was afraid ofanything.”

“Were you sad when he died?”

“Yeah.” I go from wiping his cheeks to wiping my own. “I wassosad, I couldn’t even talk about it for a really long time. I couldn’t explain my feelings, because they were so overwhelming and so heavy, like a big bully was sitting on my chest and squishing me down. I cried a lot and begged my mom to make it all better. I wished on stars.” I grin through my tears. “I wished every single night to bring him back to me, but after a while, when I realized it wouldn’t come true, I changed my wish to something else.”

“What?” he whispers shakily. “What did you wish instead?”

“That it wouldn’t hurt so much anymore. That I could think of him and not cry.” I lean a little closer, smiling conspiratorially. “And I wished I could think of my friend from Plainview, too, and not cry.”

“Was it…” Uncertainty flickers in his eyes. “Y-you mean my dad?”

“Uh-huh. I didn’t have very many friends back then, but that rascal, cheeky boy Billy Caster was my favorite of them all. I missed my dadsomuch, and when I wasn’t missing him, I was missing my friend. But I guess all that wishing on a star worked out, huh? Because I live right next to that rascal now, and even better, he went and made another one. Don’t tell him I told you so, but I reckon you’re an even better Billy Caster than the actual Billy Caster.”

He giggles, the tremors from outside being replaced by bouncing laughter. “That’s why you give me all the donuts, right?”

“Exactly.”

ROUND TWENTY-NINE

BILLY

Just take my heart and toss it into a deep freezer. Later, once it’s solid as a rock, smash it against a brick wall until there’s nothing left but the fragmented pieces of a man who was once whole.

A very, very long time ago.

Maggie hugs my son and sings under her breath, her melodic voice rising and falling with a song about the world ending.

She chooses him. With a smile.

She slides her fingers through his hair, her nails massaging his scalp with constant, rhythmic strokes despite the fact he fell asleep awhile ago. She hums so the song weaves throughout my living room, and I just…