Page 94 of Always Love You More

I push down the fear that something went wrong and grab my bag before going upstairs.

After dropping my stuff off in my room, I head for the bathroom and strip out of my clothes from the day, setting my phone on the sink so I can hear it if it goes off.

I take a longer shower than I normally would, hoping to kill more time. When I get out, I check the time again.

9:07.

I scrape my nails against my palm.

It doesn’t mean anything, I tell myself.I’m sure they’re fine.

But maybe I should text just to make sure. What if something happened? What if they need my help?

Reaching for my phone, I pull up my text thread with Jameson, begin to type, and then delete it. What if I distract him and mess things up, or what if his phone isn’t on silent and it gives them away?

I drop my phone back onto the counter.

They’re fine. I’m sure they’re fine.

I get ready for bed then tidy my room even though it doesn’t need to be tidied. When I realize I’ve started pacing, I crack open the window and light a cigarette. It’s raining heavily, the sound of raindrops hitting the roof creating a steady rhythm in the background.

GrabbingGreat Expectationsfrom the pile of books on my desk, I open it and start reading. The words I’ve read countless times start to bleed together, and I look over at the clock.

10:04.

I light another cigarette.

It doesn’t mean anything, I remind myself.They’re fine.

I open the book and start reading again.

I’m starting to lose it when a ring echoes through my quiet room.

I scramble for my phone. “Jamie?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he says. “I’m home.”

“Johnny?” I ask.

“He’s fine. Should be home soon.”

“Fuck.” I blow out a breath. “You scared me. Was it supposed to take that long? It seems like that took too long?”

“Whoa, baby, I’m fine. We’re both fine,” he assures me. “We just ran into a problem, but—”

“A problem?” I interrupt.

“Their security rotation was different than it was supposed to be, so we had to wait a bit longer.”

“Oh,” I murmur. “Okay.”

“I would have texted you, but I couldn’t have my phone with me where I was and—”

“It’s okay, really,” I tell him. “I’m just glad you’re all right.”

“You sure?” he asks nervously. “You don’t seem—”

A muffled sound comes from the other line.