Page 188 of Always Love You More

Relieved they’re leaving, I move through the room, taking Jace into the kitchen and setting him up in his high chair, hiding out until I hear the front door slam shut.

“You all right?” Cathleen asks, going over to Jace and dropping a kiss on the top of his head when he calls out to her.

“Fine,” I answer.

“You’ve just gotta ignore them,” she says. “They’re idiots.”

“Sometimes, I don’t wanna just ignore them.”

She snorts. “Yeah, I know. I was the one who got the calls home from school, remember?”

“They all deserved it.”

“Not saying they didn’t.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“You’ve gotta be smart, that’s all.”

I turn to her. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

She sighs. “Fuck, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just used to it.”

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t make it any better. Any less shitty.”

Looking over at me, she blows out a breath.

“Probably actually makes it worse,” I add.

“I just worry about you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

She fidgets. “I know.”

“Then what?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s just being your older sister. Can’t help but worry. It’s like it’s my job or something.”

“I don’t think it’s that,” I tell her. “’Cause I worry about you, too. Worried about …” I don’t say his name, but she knows who I’m talking about. “It’s nice,” I say, clearing my throat. “It’s nice that you worry, Cath.”

She drops her eyes and swallows hard. I know it fucks her up that she couldn’t protect him.

“I’ve gotta get to work,” she mutters, stepping forward.

I nod before she pulls me into a hug.

“Love you,” she whispers.

“Love you, too,” I whisper back.

A few hours later, I’ve just gotten Jace down to sleep when the house phone rings, its shrill sound reverberating through the quiet house.

I slip down the stairs as my father stands from his place on the couch to answer it.

“Hello,” he mumbles.

I look from him to the coffee table, noting the scattered beer bottles. He got home from work just after Cathleen left, so he hasn’t been at it too long.