Page 146 of Always Love You More

“I’m not going anywhere.”

She lets out a breath, still failing to meet my eyes. “I’m disgusting.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“I’m covered in puke. You just watched me throw up all over myself. I’m … This is … I’m a mess.”

“So let me help you get cleaned up.”

She shakes her head, muttering more to herself than me, “I’m a mess on the inside. You can’t just wipe that away and make it better.”

I inch forward. “I can try.”

Finally, she looks up at me. “Why?”

“Because I love you.”

She fidgets, pulling at the sleeves of my hoodie she’s swimming in. “Still?”

“Always.”

A tear falls down her face, and I move to brush it away.

“Jamie?”

“What, baby?”

Another tear falls. “I don’t know how to stop being sad.”

I try to keep my face neutral as my heart fucking breaks.

Before I can say anything, she mumbles, “Can I get clean now?”

I clear my throat. “Yeah, let me help you.” Moving forward slowly, I give her time to tell me to stop or pull away, but her arms drop from her body, the wall between us falling.

After closing the lid to the toilet, I pull her up and settle her into a seated position. Grabbing the bottom of the hoodie, I say, “Lift your arms for me.”

I strip the hoodie off and turn, finding a washcloth and wetting it with warm water.

Crouching in front of her, I gently drag the cloth over her face and chest. I check her hair, but it’s clean, so I turn to look for a toothbrush.

I find a spare under the sink and hold it out to her. “Do you wanna try to brush your teeth?”

She nods, moving to stand.

I help her over to the sink and squeeze some toothpaste onto the brush before handing it to her. She brushes clumsily, and I hold her hair back again as she spits.

Once she’s done, I lead her to my bedroom and walk her over to the bed. She sits on the edge as I go to my dresser and pull out a T-shirt.

She takes it, and I kneel, unlacing her Converse. “There,” I breathe, looking up at her.

Her eyes are dazed as she peers down at me. “I love you,” she whispers.

I stand, pulling back the blankets, and motion for her to lay down. She shuffles under the covers, and I lean in, tucking them around her, then kiss the top of her forehead. “Love you, too, baby.”

Chapter 34

Sam