Page 86 of The Odyssean Duke

She burned to see him. If she sent him away, it would drive her mad. Evelina would lie awake all night and torment herself with all the thoughts of what he might have said.

“I will speak to him.” Her voice sounded as if it came from a great distance. “Send him to me.”

The maid curtsied again. “At once, Your Grace.”

Then, the maid was gone, and Evelina was alone. She stood and smoothed her dress. Her body was strange and anxious; she had the most peculiar sensation that she did not quite fit into it. Evelina wanted to be in control of herself when Stephan arrived in the gardens. She wanted to be strong, but Evelina’s own body seemed determined to betray her. Sweat covered Evelina’s hands, and warmth rushed to her face.

When Stephan appeared at last, Evelina could have sworn that she forgot how to breathe. She stared at her husband as if she had never seen him before, and an ache twisted in her chest. Here he was. Could she survive what he might say?

She opened her mouth to speak, but her thoughts floundered in the desperate search for some composed greeting. No words emerged at all.

“Evelina,” he said. “It is good to see you.”

Her breaths were quick and uneven, and her thoughts raced with reckless abandon, like a pair of horses loose in London. “Stephan,” she managed. “I see you have found me.”

Stephan nodded. He looked like a man who was being faced with a great regret, and Evelina inwardly cringed. That regret washer.

“What do you want?” Evelina asked.

She was talking. Words were coming together more easily and into coherent sentences. Evelina clasped her hands behind her back, trying to keep herself in the present. She could do this. Stephan was only a man.

The problem was that he had hurt her, and Evelina still ached for him. She wanted to be in his warm embrace once more, in his bed once more, in his house. Her body ached for him, and her mind was quick to remind her of how witty and charming hewas when he bothered to try. How had she come to love this man who was so unsuitable for her?

“I want you to come home,” Stephan said. “I know that you are angry with me and rightly so. I do not deserve your forgiveness, and so I am not asking for it. I just want the chance to make everything right between us. I want to fix what I broke.”

She let out a little, disbelieving laugh. “That is so very eloquent,” Evelina said helplessly. “Did you practice that apology?”

“Many times,” he said, smiling tentatively. “It was a long drive from your sister’s house to your own. I mean it, though. Every word.”

Evelina’s heart leaped at the possibility that he truly meant it, that he wanted her simply because of who she was and how she felt around him, but that was impossible. This man could not love her that much; there were too many things between them, separating them.

“You are only saying that because you need an heir,” she said, her shoulders slumping. “And you have so little time left.”

“No,” he said. “No, there is no—we do not need an heir anymore, Evelina. You were right about the forged signatures.”

“That was—are you trying to trick me?” Evelina furrowed her brow, thinking it highly unlikely that she had been correct for repeating a solicitor’s ill-thought joke, but she could not imaginewhy Stephan would lie about that. “What do you mean they were forged?”

“My grandmother forged the signatures on my father’s will,” Stephan explained. “She confessed to it and has agreed to leave London and never return. I have seen the will which my father intended on me following, and there are no stipulations for an heir or for a trustee. Her Grace lied about all of it, but now, her lie is found out. I want you to return because I want you—not because we are on borrowed time.”

Evelina slowly sank onto the bench, trying to make sense of it. “She really lied to you.”

Stephan took an anxious step forward. Evelina tensed; he was near enough to touch, but she kept her hands clasped tightly in her lap. “Yes, she lied. You could—you could probably have our marriage annulled if you want that,” he said, “but I hope you do not. You were right about something else, Evelina. I do love you, and I was foolish and afraid to admit it to myself. Being without you has affected me profoundly, though. I have gone mad with longing for you. Please, return to me.”

“But…” she trailed off. “But are you—are you certain Her Grace…?”

“She will do nothing,” Stephan said. “She has no power, and you need not fear her. I imagine she will do as I have asked. She will leave London and never return, but if she does, I will be ready. From the very beginning of this arrangement, I doubted that she would honor her word and willingly surrender the dukedom. Ihad made arrangements to ensure that you were cared for from my own fortune, the money I earned as an admiral.”

Evelina put a hand to her chest, her eyes wide. “I—I can hardly believe it.”

Everything was too much. Stephan had really come all this way for her, wanting to make amends. Hewantedher, even when she was no longer needed. A faintness swept over Evelina; she was half-convinced that she was dreaming.

“Taking care of you has been the greatest privilege of my life,” Stephan said. “If you will allow me, I would like to care for you for the rest of your life. Please, say that you will come home with me and be my duchess. I can—I can be your home, Evelina.”

Evelina hesitated. Her eyes burned with unshed tears; it took all her strength to keep them from falling. Stephan gazed at her with a tenderness that she had never before seen directed towards her. She might have believed in that moment that he truly cared for her. Still, a treacherous thorn of doubt pricked her heart.

“Those are lovely words,” she said, “and I want to believe them. I promise that I do.”

“But you do not,” Stephan said simply. “After my behavior, I cannot say that I blame you.”