Page 75 of The Odyssean Duke

CHAPTER 32

Evelina’s breath shuddered unevenly in her chest. She had not moved from her husband’s bed, unaware of how much time had passed. Her eyes burned, tears falling down her cheeks. She had sworn that this marriage was only one of convenience.

Now, she was paying for forgetting that. Evelina pulled her knees up to her chest and sobbed, her errors plaguing her. If she had said nothing, she and Stephan might be at the breakfast table at that very moment, enjoying food and one another’s company. He might not have abandoned her.

She should have said nothing, but that had been impossible when she had awakened, feeling more like herself than ever before with him at her side. The intimacy of the act had struck her like nothing else ever had, and her breast had swelled with hope and wonder. She had dared think that he might love her.

Worse, Evelinastillthought he might love her. It was just that Stephan refused to act on his affections for her. Instead, he hadfled! Evelina could scarcely contain her disbelief. He had not even left her because he longed for another woman or did not care for her, but seemingly because he did not know how to face his own feelings!

There was a knock on the door, and a tiny spark of hope lit in her chest. Had Stephan returned to her?

“Come in,” she said, roughly rubbing her hands with her eyes.

If it was Stephan, was she prepared to face him after he had abandoned her? She bit the inside of her cheek, remembering how he had cruelly mentioned their contract with one another. That was what they had agreed upon, but Evelina did not imagine that mattered if they both cared for one another, if they both wanted to be something other than a marriage of convenience.

The door creaked, and Mrs. Newbury peered into the room. Evelina wanted to cry in despair. She turned her face away, so the housekeeper would not see her tears. “Mrs. Newbury,” Evelina said, her voice shaking. “I did not realize it was you.”

What else could she say?I wish it was my husband? Even if that was true, the wound was too raw to express to anyone, much less someone whom she barely knew.

“I apologize, Your Grace.”

Evelina let out an undignified laugh. “Why should you apologize? You have done nothing wrong.”

Evelina curled her hands into fists. A wild fury seized her. She wanted to scream and rage and throw something. Evelina had shown vulnerability, and her husband had abandoned her!

“I am sorry for disturbing you,” Mrs. Newbury said. “Is there…is there anything that I might do for you, Your Grace?”

Evelina shook her head. A pressure grew behind her eyes, tears threatening once more. She heard silence behind her and suspected that Mrs. Newbury had not yet left. Evelina squeezed her eyes closed and tried to gather the resolve to do something other than cry like the forlorn, neglected heroine in a romance.

“Perhaps, I can send for someone, Your Grace,” Mrs. Newbury continued, her voice hesitant. “Maybe—ah—your sister? Or one of the other ladies whose company you enjoy.”

Evelina managed a ragged breath of air. Did she want her sister to see her like this? Evelina was the elder sister, and she had always tried to be a pillar of strength and stability. She loved Theodora—of course, she did—but something about her beloved sister seeing her like this, so upset over the rejection of a man whom she had sworn not to love, was…

Shameful. Disgraceful.

She was a modern, independent woman. Evelina was not supposed to care about what any man thought, even her husband.Especiallyher husband.

“I am unraveling,” Evelina muttered.

“Your Grace?”

Evelina cleared her throat and rubbed her eyes again. “I—I wish—you are right. I would like to see my sister.”

“As you wish, Your Grace. I am happy to prepare the carriage for you.”

Mrs. Newbury curtsied and left. The silence seemed louder in her absence. Evelina sniffed and rubbed her nose with her forearm, uncaring of the mess it made on her sleeve. She could not do this. Shewould notdo this. Evelina was not the stoic, unshakeable Penelope waiting faithfully for Odysseus to return to her. She was no heroic, resolute woman of legend. Evelina was just like any other woman. She had hoped too much and ruined herself.

At least, Odysseus had a good reason for being away from home. What excuse did her husband have? Were his feelings too much to manage? Evelina might have laughed if she was not already so distressed by his behavior.

Slowly, Evelina moved away from the bed, smoothing the wrinkles from her chemise. Heat rushed to her face. As if beingembarrassed was not enough, she still wore only her chemise. She wrapped her arms around herself and inhaled deeply, as if Evelina was physically keeping herself together.

Then, she raised her head and left the room. Mrs. Newbury encountered her in the corridor. Her face softened, and Evelina knew the woman must be sympathetic, her motherly instincts stirred to life by Evelina’s wretched appearance.

“Your Grace, I was just coming to tell you that I have prepared the carriage,” she said.

Evelina nodded. “Thank you. I will…” she trailed off, trying to keep herself from falling to pieces. “I will require a few items for the journey. A few gowns for different occasions. I want to stay with my sister for a while, just a friendly visit.”

Mrs. Newbury’s expression made it clear that she knew Evelina was not just paying her sister afriendly visit. Thankfully, the woman said nothing. Instead, she merely nodded, as though there was nothing strange at all about Evelina’s request. “Of course, Your Grace. I will see to it at once.”